Category: Travel Tales

Travelin’ Mr./Mrs. Daisy

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This post is intended to help you learn how to travel with your parents.  Once your parents are eligible for social security, something happens.  I don’t know what it is.  But trust me.  Here are some handy dandy tips to make your family travel experience smoother.

1.  Guidebook Dilemma

Most of us use guidebooks to prepare and use for travel.  It makes sense to follow the advice of someone who has been there, done that.  Unless you are my Dad.  I swear by Rick Steves.  His guidebooks have always provided me with helpful tips.  However, a map (usually hand drawn in the books) was off/unclear during our trip to Rome.  Which meant that Rick can’t be trusted to tell you the time of day.  Sorry, Rick.  You had your chance.  No second chances with Mr. Daisy.  My Dad acts like he suffers from Rick Steves PTSD.  When I suggest some international destination to visit, his response is, “Did Steve Bob’s recommend that?”  Because he is not going to get Rick’s name right.  That’s what happens when you have 2 first names & you mess up directions.

My Mom, however, has to find every book related to the country we plan to visit.  I usually stick with the big 3:  Rick Steves, Lonely Planet or Eyewitness Travels.  She found The Cadogan Guide to Morocco by Barnaby Rogerson on Amazon.  This guide has a bit more color than usual guides. For instance, Mr. Rogerson says the following about sexual attitudes in Morocco, “”Moroccans also tend to think of themselves as immeasurably more virile & potent than Western men. However chaste your intentions, why not pack some condoms beside the sun cream and romantic fiction?” Really, Barnaby? Now I have to put an “elderly lock” on my Mom’s laptop.

Do yourself a favor and just handle all the travel and prep.  Monitor their internet & tv usage because this can lead to trouble.  Retired people find time to explore & become scholars based on the latest gossip from “Spacebook”.  My Dad has become an international travel expert based solely on 60 Minutes reports from Mike Wallace that aired 15 years ago.  It doesn’t matter if you have been there and he hasn’t.  You don’t know the real deal.  Don’t become a victim.  You will only get confused trying to wade thru their attempt at using hip jargon.  My Dad can’t grasp the concept of BFFs.  He keeps saying BSFF…like it’s Best Super Friends Forever.  I don’t know.  See how I just got sucked into that?

Only 8 kilometers? Whatchu talkin' bout, Willis? That should say 12!

The look they give you when you suggest something “exotic”.

2.  You’re Taking Me Where?

Not all elderly parents (and by elderly, I mean anybody older than you) can handle “exotic” trips to Miami.  I blame Mike Wallace.  My Dad isn’t into traveling to Africa and Italy was full of too many basilicas.  When I suggested London, I was met with “I don’t want to look at butter teeth.”  I tried to explain that their dental care has improved since the 1800’s but Mike can’t verify that since he passed away.  I then attempted to talk my Dad into going on a safari.  His response?  “I haven’t lost anything in Africa.”  See a pattern?  Don’t try to force it, kids.  Let your parents go on a jazz cruise where they can fall asleep on the Lido Deck after slurping down a 189 ounce daiquiri while listening to the sleepy time music of Brian Culbertson.

Now, if you happen to have an adventurous parent, keep it in perspective.  Your type of adventure isn’t theirs.  There will be no backpacking or taking public transportation.  Understand that now.  You can’t make your mother walk 3 blocks after she spent 202 hours in labor with you 40 years ago.  You are still paying on that.  It’s like labor layaway.  Ease them into the adventure.  Morgan Freeman didn’t tell Miss Daisy to take MARTA.  He made sure she was comfortable and that her needs were attended to.

3.  Once, Twice, Three Times Too Much

Some parents like to overpack.  You know how you grew up hearing, “You can’t ever be too prepared”?  That is a lie.  You can be too prepared.  Don’t fall for that.  And, the older they get, the more “prepared” they get.  During one trip, the guidebook said we should plan to bring toilet tissue as some bathrooms may not have any.  I bought a 24 pack of Tush Wipes and told my Mom not to worry about that.  So why did she show up with 3 rolls of toilet paper?  I don’t know.  Apparently, 24 wipes + 3 rolls of Quilted Northern seemed like the right amount for a 12 day trip for 2 people.  Don’t let your parents take a Sam’s Club approach to packing.  You’ll be the one hauling it around.  Remember, labor layaway.  Some things you can’t get around.  Do you remember Titanic when Rose came on the ship at the beginning of the movie and had 44 trunks and 132 picture frames?  That is what you are battling against.  Don’t let your Mom bring every item from Magellans…or your Dad bring his tool belt because you never know when something will need to be fixed.  Have an intervention if you need to.  Because if you don’t, Delta will.

4.  Picture Time

I took a travel photography class to learn how to capture creative images that don’t look like Honey Boo Boo took them.  This requires setting up your shot…which means you must have patience.  Especially for someone new at it.  I’ve got some news for you.  Elderly parents aren’t patient.  They don’t have time to wait on you to set up a shot.  Take the picture as you are walking.  Who cares if it is blurry.  That’s your fault.  Practice walking and clicking.

The deluxe “ghetto”

5.  25 Star Hotels

Elderly parents have a Kanye West mindset to travel.  Which means that 5 star hotels may not be enough.  Ask yourself this question…Would Oprah stay there?  If you are not 100% certain, then find someplace else.  Yeah, you might have to sell yourself on the streets but that’s what happens.  Labor Layaway.  That’s the Big Joker to any argument you may have.  Parents will always win.  You can’t make your Mom stay someplace that is 4 stars after you ripped her open and then refused to sleep thru the night for weeks.

For example, my Mom and I did the 5 star hotel option for our recent trip to Morocco.  Which included an upgrade to a deluxe tent in the Sahara Desert.  The tent had 2 twin beds (complete with mattresses on frames), bathroom (which included a shower) and sitting room.  But, it is a tent…in the Sahara.  My Mom was like, “What is this?”  I don’t know if she thought there was a Ritz Carlton – Sahara or what.  Now, in my mind, I had already prepared myself for the fact that I would encounter a bug or 2.  I already had my Avon Skin So Soft and Off (courtesy of my Mom).  The operators had the nerve to shut the power off at night so my Mom couldn’t keep the lights on for fear that bats would swoop in, turn into Dracula, and bite us.  What would happen if we turned into vampires?  We didn’t have any True Blood in our emergency preparedness kit (there wasn’t enough space with all the toilet paper).  Around 1am, I awake to my Mom screaming about scorpions.  She’s got her flashlight on and pointed towards her face like it’s the Moroccan Blair Witch Project.  I’m trying to figure out what is going on.  I mean, I know she isn’t serious.  I must be dreaming this.  Did my mint tea have another type of herb in it?  I’m confused.  At this point, she has moved into my twin bed and made the proclamation that she will NEVER sleep in that bed again because there is a scorpion the size of a “cow” in it.  But, before I could find Bessie the Scorpion and lead her out of the tent, my Mom wanted me to see if her arm was swelling.  Sigh.  After confirming that there was no swelling, I check the bed and can’t find the Velociraptor-sized scorpion.  I did see a big cockroach though.  Lest you think we are going to sleep peacefully together in a small twin bed, I’ve got news for you…we are not.  Labor layaway requires counseling sessions as well.  And, my Mom had to question why there was no actual door on the tent.  You read that right.  And, I’m sure that will go into the survey feedback she is working on right now.  See, as you get older, things don’t have to make sense.  A tent in the Sahara to young people means just that.  But to older people?  It means a cottage with a fireplace, butler and an exterminator on speed dial.

I’m pretty sure it was the Scorpion King who came into the tent.

6.  Hustled

Hustlers target older people because it’s easy.  Older people don’t like to be hassled and would prefer to pay you 110% more than you deserve just to get you to leave them alone.  Younger people?  We will protest on basic principle.  If the guidebook says that you should tip $2 to a porter for getting your bags out of the car, you can best believe that that is what you are going to get if there is nothing exceptional about the service.  Are they pushing the luggage up a hill?  Okay, they get extra.  But to take my luggage that I lugged all the way thru the airport and just move it from my hand to the trunk?  TWO DOLLARS, buddy.  But, this philosophy can only work when you aren’t traveling with older parents.  Just pay the man.  I don’t care that you had to ask your guide to go to Lowes – Marrakesh to find a storm door for the tent.  Make it rain.

7.  Trying Something New

Not all parents will try something new.  My Mom is really good about being open to certain things.  But, my Dad?  Forget it.  Here are some examples of new things I tried to expose him to:

Me:  Hi Dad, I brought you some boisenberry jam back from London!  Try it.

Dad: *puts the jam on a biscuit…then spits it out*  This is the nastiest stuff I’ve ever tasted in my life.  Do me a favor and don’t ever bring me back anything to eat.  This must be why they have yellow teeth that look like they’ve been chewing on rocks.

——————–

Me:  I went to a public hammam in Morocco.  It was a surreal experience.  You should try it!

Dad:  I don’t need my booty scrubbed.

——————-

Mom:  I learned how to make chocolate molten lava cake at a Pastry & Desserts class in Paris.  What do you think?

Dad:  This doesn’t have anything on Chili’s chocolate lava cake.  Where is the chocolate sauce?  Why isn’t caramel drizzled over it?  You don’t have any Breyer’s ice cream to go with this?  Paris seems awful plain to me.

I’m sure that my Dad is finding a cooking class at the local Chili’s right now.  That will be his Christmas gift for my mother.  Bottom line, if you are traveling with elderly parents (or just folks that are older and like to go on Robin Leach-style vacations), do yourself a favor and take my advice above.  Need further convincing, read my post from Las Vegas.  Last tip for you?  Pack a flask and your favorite spirits.  You’ll need their guidance 🙂

A Tale of Two Hammams

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You can’t travel to Morocco without experiencing a hammam (public steam bath).  Hammams are an important part of weekly life for most Moroccans as they usually visit at least once a week.  You can easily spend 2-3 hours since a hammam is not only for cleansing the body, but for gossip and socializing.  I found there was a ritual to the cleansing and by the time you leave, you feel like you are floating on air with supersoft skin!

I’m the type of traveler that loves to try almost anything once…and meet as many locals as I can.  I’d read that there was a difference between the local public hammam and the hammams located within hotels & riads.  So, I decided to try both.  I had researched and felt that I was ready for this experience…I was not.  Seriously. I have never experienced anything like this before in my life.  Well, maybe as an infant but my memory isn’t that good (I blame my Mom for not supplementing my formula with Ginkoba). 

I consider myself a modern Western woman who craves adventure.  But, um…I’m reserved with showing all my goodies to strangers.  Moroccan women are not.  While they may be covered from head to toe in public, it’s underwear-only (maybe) in the hammam.  I had read that you could bring your bikini or bathing suit to wear if you aren’t comfortable wearing just underwear (or going completely nude).  Apparently, swimsuits aren’t the norm in hammams (thanks, internet research).  Know that now.  Be ready to strip down and bare it all.

Public Hammams

Men and women bathe separately.  This could mean that there are 2 separate buildings, or that one gender is allowed to bathe in the morning while the other bathes in the evening.  The public hammams are much cheaper than the “spa” hammams (I paid around 100 Dirhams which is approximately $10 USD).  Partially, because it’s a “no frills” environment and you have to bring all of your own supplies.  The hammam I went to in Fes did provide buckets for water.

What do you need to bring with you?  A bag (to hold your towel and clean clothes); towel (I just brought one from the riad I was staying in); shampoo & conditioner; comb/brush; flip-flops (just like you’d bring to a gym shower); soap (most will tell you to buy black soap which has the consistency of a gooey gel but smells divine.  This is readily available in the medina.  I suggest finding some with Argan oil.); loofah (you can pick this up in the medina as well for 6 or 7 Dirham); henna (readily available in the medina); razor (if you want to shave); mat or stool (to sit on while you bathe); a bottle of water (it’s a steam room so you will get hot); deodorant (no use in spending 3 hours getting clean if you get funky within 30 minutes of leaving); lotion (say “no” to ashiness); fresh clothes & underwear (the underwear you wear into the hammam will get soaked); and a bucket (to hold all the aforementioned items).

I was lucky to meet 2 women thru my local guide who volunteered to take me to a public hammam.  And, I can honestly say that I would have been completely lost without their patience and guidance.  As we enter the changing room, I notice that there are open cubby holes surrounding wooden benches.  There are no lockers so you are just going on faith that nobody will steal your things.  My strategy was to watch and follow the lead of my 2 companions.  They stripped down to their underwear, put on their flip-flops and took their bucket of supplies thru a spacious tiled room into a narrow steam room (which was also tiled with mosaics).  So, I did the same.  Of course, while my companions had on pretty panties, I was wearing  disposable underwear that I had bought as a way to save space in my bag during my trip.  Yeah, I was stylin’.

As we enter the steam room, there are other ladies bathing.  I take a deep breath and walk right in.  I mean, I will never see those ladies again and I told myself this is a way to become comfortable with my body.  From there, it’s a series of rituals:  (1) We lay out our mats and stool, fill up about 10 buckets of water to varying temperatures (some were really hot, others were lukewarm while a couple were cool).  Then, my companions took off their underwear.  And, I’m like, “Um, are we supposed to be butt booty naked?”  (not sure how to translate that into Arabic so I just stood there with a blank look for a few seconds then took my panties off too).  (2) We use bowls & ladles to pour hot water from the buckets over our bodies.  Then, we use our hands to massage black soap over our skin.  This is a community effort as other women will ask if you can soap their back.  Of course, there was a lot of communicating with me in hand gestures since I only knew the word for “thank you” in Arabic.  Once we were soaped fully, we rinsed ourselves by ladling hot water over our bodies again.  (3) Next step is adding a small bit of water to the henna powder so that it would make a paste.  Then, we took our hands and smeared the henna paste over our bodies and let it sit as a masque for a few minutes.  I’m told this helps to soften the skin.  Then, we went thru the rinse cycle again. 

(4) After we rinsed, my companions got up and took their mat & loofah to another room.  Now, I was distracted by making sure I had my supplies so I didn’t realize that one of my companions had put their underwear back on until I’m in the next room…in all my big booty glory.  Sigh.  But, the only one who is concerned is me.  This room is where the women who work at the hammam will use your loofah to scrub you down.  They are wearing only underwear as well.  So, I am motioned over to a nice lady who says “Sleep”.  I’m like, “What?  We take a nap too?  But I don’t have any clothes on!”  I was so confused.  They start doing charades and then just move my body into the position they want it to be in by pushing me back into this woman’s arms so she can cradle me while she scrubs me.  I’m not going to lie, I was uncomfortable being naked and held by another almost-naked lady.  There was nothing sexual about it…but it was so weird to me.  Eventually, you are pushed into a lot of different positions (kind of like yoga) from laying on your side with your arm stretched over your ear to laying on your tummy with your face down.  Once I laid down, the lady grabs my ankles and pulls me towards her then starts scrubbing my back & booty.  I’m like, “WTF?”  Lord help me.  But, then, you kind of go into this relaxed state.  Don’t ask me how.  Every part of your body is scrubbed over the span of 15-20 minutes.  It’s clear that I’m a foreigner by my reaction and not being able to communicate in Arabic.  But, the lady was so nice and once she was finished she took my face in her hands and gave me a quick kiss on each cheek.  I think I still looked dazed from all of our “togetherness”. 

(5)  After the scrubbing, I was given my loofah back and headed back into the steam room to wash with black soap again.  Then we went thru the rinse cycle once more.  An attendant (wearing only underwear…seriously, nobody is clothed) keeps filling up our buckets with water.  (6)  Now it’s time to wash & condition our hair then rinse with the lukewarm water.  (7) Once finished, we move onto exfoliating our face.  I continue to do this while my companions shave their legs.  (8)  Then, my companions motion me to lay down on my tummy again (and I’m looking at them like, “Again?  I’ve already had my booty scrubbed.”).  They begin to massage my legs and back then have me turn over to massage my chest (I know), tummy and arms.  (9) Once the massage is complete, we do another rinse (this time with cool water) and I’m given some special shampoo for the va-jay-jay.  (10)  Finally, it’s time to go.  We walk out of the steam room, thru a cooling room into the changing room to dress and leave.

During this entire time, ladies come and go and everybody is talking like we are at a cafe instead of a steam bath.  It’s a very relaxed atmosphere and I noticed that the women bring in their young daughters so this is something that they start doing at a very young age.  Which is why they are not bashful or ashamed of their bodies.  I found this refreshing (once I got over being uncomfortable).  I felt so clean and so light.  But, after almost 3 hours, I was ready for a nap too.

Riad Hammam

This is a totally different experience than the public hammam.  The hammams located in riads (i.e. hotels) are geared towards tourists.  If you aren’t brave enough to be nude in front of other women, this is your best bet.  The riad hammams are like spas where you reserve an appointment time.  Once I arrived, I was shown to a changing room with lockers where I stripped out of my clothes, donned a bathing suit and robe.  Then, I was led to a shower to rinse off before being shown into a beautifully tiled steam room.  I was handed a pillow and instructed to lay down on the tiled bench.  I was given a bottle of water and a few minutes to relax before the treatments begin.  You can wear bikini bottoms but any top will be removed eventually…I found that out the hard way.  Once the attendant comes back in (she is fully clothed by the way), she starts to rub black soap over my body, then rinses me with warm water.  Next, she uses the loofah to scrub my body.  After that is complete, I was rinsed again, then led out to a small pool which was filled with cool water.  I stepped into the pool and soaked for a couple of minutes then was led upstairs for a traditional massage.  One thing I’ve noticed about massages that I get overseas is that they massage everything…and I do mean everything.  Booty and breasts.  So, you just have to either roll with it or let them know you are uncomfortable.

Overall, the hammam experience was great.  While I initially had some misgivings about exposing myself, I was able to move past it and really try to understand the true meaning of “cleansing.”  In an odd way, I became more comfortable with my body while developing a kinship with my companions.  If you go to Morocco, I highly recommend you experience the hammam.  I promise that you won’t forget it!

The Fascinating Finns — Moose, Reindeer & Bears, Oh My!

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I had the pleasure of spending 3 days in Finland (2 full days in Helsinki [Vantaa] and a quick day trip to Nokia).  Unfortunately, I had to work most of the time and didn’t have any time to sightsee other than for 15 minutes before dinner one evening.  Therefore, unlike my other posts that cover most of the top attractions of the city, this post will focus more on what I’ve learned about Finland and my experience with the Finnish people.

To be honest, I wasn’t sure what to expect when I arrived in Helsinki.  The one thing about “travelling while brown” is that you have to always be prepared to be the subject of stares.  Which is fine if you are just curious and not ignorant.  Especially if I’m visiting a country where there aren’t many other people of color.  I have to say that I believe my skin color actually provided me with an advantage in Finland. 

I had the pleasure of travelling with a Finnish attorney (Jura) who took it upon himself to try to educate me in everything Finnish during my 3 day trip (complete with trying to learn Finnish phrases…and I am now proud to say I know 3 words…ha!).  As a sidenote, Finnish is HARD.  There are like 19 letters in the word “fish” (or something crazy like that).

Jura explained to me that the Finns don’t do small talk and niceties.  It’s not that they are rude, but they just don’t see the need for a lot of extra conversation.  And, with it being so cold, I understand why (I mean, who wants to stand around hearing about Laaki’s corns when you can’t feel your fingers?).  However, he was surprised in the responses I would get everyplace I went.  The Finns were super nice and went out of their way to be of service.  He said it’s because they know I’m a tourist but I like to think it’s because they know I’m special 🙂  From the hotel  to the restaurants, it was like being among friends. 

My absolute favorite moment was getting to meet Jura’s father.  He is a big bear of a man and was the absolute best!  He picked me up from my hotel to take Jura and myself to the train station and even walked us to the train station platform then waited to make sure we got on the train safely.  At the end of the day, he was waiting for us to get off the train to cart me back to the hotel (and Jura to the airport).  That is hospitality at its best!

I’m naturally chatty so I asked a lot of questions about their history (which seemed to be a very subject of many).  Below are some interesting facts I learned during my stay:

1.  Santa better hide Rudolph because reindeer was on EVERY menu that I saw during my 3 day stay. 

2.  In addition to the reindeer, the Finns eat bear (watch your back, Yogi…maybe get with Rudolph in Witness Protection or something) and the Helsinki airport even sells bear liver pate.  I’m sure that just made you salivate…I’ll wait while you go to Google and search for companies that ship internationally.

3.  The Arctic Ice Bar.  Words cannot describe how much I wanted to check this place out.  Trust me, if I had stayed over a weekend, I’d have been in there with the club-offered parkas freezing my booty off while setting my drink on an ice table.  Per their website, “Inside the icebar the temperature is a constant -5C. Upon entry to the Icebar guests are given a warm cape and gloves to wear.” That is awesome!  Of course, the funniest thing I’ve read in a long time was from a reviewer on Trip Advisor who said, “You won’t find a lot of locals in the ice bar. We think it’s a damn silly idea to pay extra to be cold as we get enough of it for free.”  Ha!

4.  The Finns are required to learn an additional language in primary school (i.e. Swedish, Russian, etc.) and it is required that all men (not sure about women) serve for 9 months – 1 year in the military.

5.  Finland was once part of Sweden, then Russia before becoming its own republic.

6.  This country has 187,888 lakes and 179,584 islands which was created by the effect of the Ice Age (much like the Norwegian fjords).

7.  Want to visit the Arctic Circle?  Just go to the top of Finland!  You can freeze to your heart’s content.

8.  Northern Lights.  Finland (like Alaska) is known for its Northern Lights.  In northern Finland, you can experience 24 hour darkness in January/early February and 24 hours of sun in the summer. 

9.  Looking for a great place to eat?  Try out the FishMarket (which has a great choice of fresh fish prepared in a variety of ways) or Farang (which is delicious Pan Asian food with a Finnish flair) in downtown Helsinki. 

10.  Finns like to hunt and one local favorite is moose. 

Below are the few pictures I was able to take in downtown Helsinki.  Notice how the lakes are frozen around the boats.  Unreal that it was that cold.

     

Oslo, Norway: Beyond the Heated Sidewalks

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I had the good fortune to spend 4 days in Oslo.  This city reminds me of Zürich and Geneva in that it doesn’t really have the energy or distinct architecture that London, Paris, Rome or Amsterdam has.  And while I found the city to be kind of “blah”, the city sightseeing tour and museums were actually pretty interesting.

A few interesting facts about Oslo:

1.  It was established on 1 January 1838. Founded around 1048 by King Harald III, the city was largely destroyed by fire in 1624. The city was moved during the reign of King Christian IV. It was rebuilt closer to Akershus Castle, and renamed Christiania in his honour (also spelled Kristiania in the late 1800s). In 1925, twenty years after the dissolution of personal union between Norway and Sweden, the city reclaimed its original Norwegian name, Oslo. (source Wikipedia)

2.  This city rich.  And I am not kidding (a regular pizza & Diet Coke from a chain called Pepe’s Pizza cost me $50 USD!  I wanted apply for Norwegian food stamps so I could eat.).  In 2009, Oslo was rated as the most expensive city in the world (now it’s second only behind Tokyo).  The guide on my tour said that they have a lot of oil (and continue to keep discovering more of it) which allows them to save money since they don’t have to import it from the Middle East.  They ration the oil to avoid a shortage in the near future (they feel they have enough to last the city for approximately 75-150 years).

3. The main pedestrian street (Karl Johan Gate) and various sidewalks throughout the city are actually heated (which you can do when you are rich).  The city uses hydro electricity which powers most of everything there.

4.  The Vikings didn’t actually wear the hat with pointy horns (you know what I’m referring to).  According to the tour guide, this was made up for a play and kind of just stuck.

5.  Norwegians love al fresco dining…even in the winter.  I was surprised to find that most restaurants had their outdoor seating sections open while there was still snow on the ground!  And it was packed.  Most restaurants provide blankets or furs to snuggle up in while you dine.  We actually tried this one afternoon and while the air was brisk, it was actually pretty nice.

Nobel Peace Center (Oslo, Norway)

Nobel Peace Center

The Nobel Peace Center was opened in 2005 and is absolutely fascinating…and very humbling.  As I viewed the exhibits, I realized the strength and courage these people had to face opposition and fight for something they believe in.  I was humbled to remember that I take for granted the fact that I can voice my opinion, own a home and have my own career.

The Nobel Peace Prize was established by Alfred Nobel (who was Swedish) in his will.  He gave no reason for this but some feel it was to assuage his guilt over being the inventor of dynamite.  The Nobel Peace Center is divided into 3 main areas (1. Main Exhibits; 2. Current Nobel Peace Prize Winners; 3.  Former Nobel Peace Prize winners) with various other small areas.

Afghanistan Exhibit

The current exhibit is on Afghanistan and contains the soul-searing photos from Lynsey Addario and Tim Hetherington and short films by 3 brave teenage girls in Kabul (which you can view on the website).

“The British war photographer Tim Hetherington’s photo series Infidel provides a rare portrait of masculinity, camaraderie and vulnerability among American infantry soldiers. For nine months in 2007 Hetherington lived side by side soldiers at a base in the remote Korengal valley. Tim Hetherington was killed during a grenade attack in Libya in April 2011.” (quoted from The Nobel Peace Center website)

 

Notice the dog above has a collar made of bullets.  There was also a short documentary film being shown of the soldiers in daily life.  I’m not usually an emotional person but that film brought me to tears.  It’s hard to understand what war is like if you have never served in the military.  That glimpse into their lives broke my heart.  The toughness they exude in the still photos (with all the tattoos and the obvious hazing) was countered by the fear during gunfire and the tears for fallen comrades.  I highly recommend you check it out.

“The American photographer Lynsey Addario’s photo series Veiled Rebellion is an intimate and personal portrait of women’s lives in a patriarchal society. Addario has photographed women in Afghanistan for 11 years.” (quoted from The Nobel Peace Center website)

Her photos captured everyday living (from the birth of a child to the autopsy of someone who recently died).  There were scenes of happiness from a typical wedding and the sadness of living in poverty.  But there was a theme of hope.  You could see the women getting stronger and happier as the years went on and they gained more freedoms.

“Anders Sømme Hammer and Christoffer Næss work with three girls in Kabul who want to change their society. Using hand-held cameras, the girls document their lives in the Kabul Cards video documentaries.” (quote from The Nobel Peace Center)

These videos were so touching.  There were several videos of the 3 girls doing every day activities (shopping, trying on make-up, interviewing other teens).  It really gives you insight into the culture and mindset in Kabul.

SHEROES

From there, you can walk upstairs to the SHEROES Nobel Peace Prize laureate exhibition 2011.  The exhibition provides you with the biographies of the 3 brave heroines and laureates:  Ellen Johnson Sirleaf and Leymah Gbowee from Liberia and Tawakkol Karman from Yemen.  I saw Leymah Gbowee on The Daily Show with Jon Stewart a few months ago and was absolutely mesmerized by her.  She is smart, funny and completely engaging.  And, she was able to convey the enormous effort it took to gain women certain freedoms in Liberia.  The one thought that kept running through my mind was that these 3 women were courageous and not easily intimidated by more powerful men.  That takes a lot of faith and strength.  It’s amazing how you can be inspired by the contributions of others.

Past Nobel Peace Prize Winners

I have to say, I was so excited to see this room.  It is so cool…dark with ambient lighting.  Very peaceful.  As you can see in the picture at the left, each Nobel Peace Laureate is featured on a small tablet with their name, year of being the recipient (and reason why) and their speech.  I did find it interesting that Yasser Arafat received a Nobel Peace Prize but Ghandi didn’t.  Really?  But my favorites are Martin Luther King, Jr., Mother Theresa, President Barack Obama and Nelson Mandela.  Amazing!

 

The Viking Ship Museum

This small museum houses 3 unearthed Viking Ships and I found the history fascinating.  I didn’t realize that the Viking burial ceremony was similar to the Egyptians.  Their belief was that the dead needed food and drink (2 oxen were killed and dough was supplied), weapons, animals, clothes and their ships (basically everything they owned) in the afterlife.  Horses and dogs (even a peacock) were killed and buried with the dead (including bridle mounts).  I’m not sure if the dead had access to Cuisinart products to cook up the meat and bake the dough.

There were also tapestries (which I was not allowed to take pictures of) that had scenes of Viking life and burial.  It looked very similar to Egyptian hieroglyphics!  Another detail I was unaware of is that the Vikings owned slaves (but not from Africa).

All of this information was obtained when 2 Viking Ships were excavated.  The Oseberg burial mound, which contained numerous grave goods and two female human skeletons (two women…one, aged 60–70, suffered badly from arthritis and other maladies; the second was aged 25–30. It is not clear which one was the more important in life or whether one was sacrificed to accompany the other in death). The ship’s interment into its burial mound dates from 834, but parts of the ship date from around 800, and the ship itself is thought to be older.  It was excavated by Norwegian archaeologist Haakon Shetelig and Swedish archaeologist Gabriel Gustafson in 1904-1905. This ship is widely celebrated and has been called one of the finest finds to have survived the Viking Age (source Wikipedia).

 

Then there is the Gokstad ship.  Shortly after the 1880 New Year the sons of the owner of Gokstad Farm, having heard of the legends surrounding the site, uncovered the bow of a boat and its painter while digging in the still frozen ground (source Wikipedia).

Holmenkollen Ski Jump

You can’t go to Oslo in the winter without checking out the Holmenkollen Ski Jump.  It just so happens that the FIS World Cup occurred the weekend I was there.  The ski jump is 60 meters/197 feet high!

This is a popular place for not only ski jumping but regular skiing as well.  I decided to try the ski jump simulator and after 4 terrifying minutes, realized that I would never try it in real life.  I’ve never been one to be afraid of heights and love rollercoasters but this was where I drew the line.  Imagine looking down 197 feet (and I don’t even know how they get to the top of the jump).  The amazing thing is that you speed down the course then fly off the end (as the jump) and stay airborne for a while before trying to land on skis.  I would be dead with 2 broken legs.

  

Vigeland Sculpture Park

Vigeland Sculpture Park covers 80 acres and features 212 bronze and granite sculptures all designed by Gustav Vigeland.  58 of the park’s sculptures reside along the Bridge, a 100 metre (328 ft) long, 15 metre (49 ft) wide connection between the Main Gate and the Fountain. All are clad in bronze and contribute to the Human Condition theme of the park.  Here visitors will find one of the park’s more popular statues, Angry Boy (Sinnataggen). Visitors could enjoy the sculptures while most of the park was still under construction. At the end of the bridge lies the Children’s Playground, a collaboration of eight bronze statues, all in the likenesses of children at play.

The Fountain (Fontenen) was fabricated from bronze and adorned with 60 individual bronze reliefs. Portraying children and skeletons in the arms of giant trees, the Fountain suggests that from death comes new life. On the ground surrounding the Fountain lies an 1800 square meter mosaic laid in black and white granite. It took Vigeland a great deal of time to establish the monument: from 1906 to 1947.

The Main Gate to Vigeland Sculpture Park is forged of granite and wrought iron and serve as an entrance to Frogner Park itself (source Wikipedia).

The Monolith Plateau is a platform made of steps that houses the Monolith totem itself. 36 figure groups reside on the elevation bringing with them the “circle of life” message. Access to the Plateau is made via eight figural gates forged in wrought iron. The gates were designed between 1933 and 1937 and erected shortly after Vigeland died in 1943 (source Wikipedia).

     

Notice how the lake is half frozen!

This dog is carrying his own leash. I have to figure out how to get my dog to do this.

Other sites around Oslo

National Theater

 

Aker Brygg

Oslo fjord

City Hall

Hopefully this gives you a pretty good overview of Oslo.

Looking for a hotel in Oslo?  Check out my review of the Thon Hotel Astoria here.

The “Norway in a Nutshell” Experience

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“God dag” from Norway! A couple of months ago, I saw a picture of a Norwegian fjord on Pinterest.  It was so breathtaking that I promised myself that one day I would visit.  I was blessed to have a business trip here so I added a couple of days to experience as much as I could of this country.  Getting to the fjords isn’t as easy you think.  You need to take a series of trains, buses and ferries.  After a lot of research, I found that the easiest way is to take the “Norway in a Nutshell” tour.

This tour is a series of pretty well-organized connections from Oslo to Bergen (and back) via rail, bus and ferry.  Along the way, you will take a train halfway across a mountain, then ride the Flamsbana train down to the Sognefjord for a ferry ride thru 2 off-shoot fjords (Aurlandsfjord and Nærøyfjord). There are also other city & fjord combinations (for more information, check out Fjord Tours). You can buy your ticket directly from Fjord Tours or at the train stations.  One of the great things about this tour is that if one segment is delayed, your next segment will wait as they are all connected.  Since we are short on time, we decided to do the roundtrip tour from Oslo to Bergen…which was 22 hours long! During the summer, you have more options for a shorter tour.

Schedule
8:11 = Train leaves Oslo S train station
12:53 = Arrive in Myrdal
13:02 = Flamsbana train departs Myrdal
14:00 = Arrive in Flåm
15:10 = Boat/Ferry departs Flåm (cruise the Aurlandsfjord and Nærøyfjord)
17:00 = Arrive in Gudvangen
17:25 = Bus departs Gudvangen
18:20 = Bus arrives in Voss
19:20 = Train departs Voss
20:34 = Train arrives in Bergen
22:58 = Night Train departs Bergen
6:26 = Arrive in Oslo

How was the Sognefjord created?

“The process began during the ice age about 3 million years ago.  A glacier about 6,500 feet thick slid downhill an inch an hour following a former river valley on its way to the sea.  Rocks embedded in the glacier gouged out a steep, U-shaped valley, displacing enough rock material to form a mountain 13 miles high.  When the climate warmed, the ice age came to an end.  The melted glaciers retreated and the sea level rose nearly 300 feet flooding the valley now known as the Sognefjord.  The fjord is more than a mile deep, flanked by 3,000-foot mountains (for a total relief of 9,300 feet).” [quote from Rick Steves’ Scandinavia]

Oslo – Myrdal Train

Rick Steves’ Scandinavia describes this as “the most spectacular train ride in Northern Europe.”  You are climbing over Norway’s “mountainous spine” where the scenery gets more dramatic the higher you go.  Honestly, I didn’t find it all that spectacular.  Of course, I fell asleep about an hour into the ride so take it for what it’s worth.  It may actually be spectacular in the summer when the land isn’t barren.  For a beautiful train ride through a winter wonderland, you should check out Interlaken, Switzerland.

Flamsbana Train

Now this train ride had beautiful scenery.  Waterfalls frozen mid-stream, bubbling creeks, snow-capped mountains and rustic little towns.

    

Flåm

This small town is really catered to tourists.  During the winter, most of the restaurants are closed (we were able to find 1 that was open for lunch).  The souvenir shop was open from 1-3pm.

  

Fjord Cruise

This is the real star of the entire tour!  The cruise takes you through Aurlandsfjord and Nærøyfjord (which is the narrowest fjord).  While it was very windy and cold, you easily are caught up in the beauty and serenity of the area.

   

Gudvangen

Rick Steves’ says it best, “Gudvangen is little more than a boat dock with a giant kiosk.”  Seriously…there is nothing more than that (other than a bridge and a bus stop).

  

Voss

This is a plain town that has a beautiful church and a lovely lake.  There isn’t much to do other than walk around while waiting for the next train out.

  

Bergen

I really can’t review this city.  We arrived at night while it was raining and just found a restaurant for a quick bite to eat.  It is a bigger city and recommended as a stop-over by Rick Steves.

Overall

The Norway in a Nutshell tour was fine.  I wish there were an easier way to reach the fjords because, for me, that was truly the highlight of the trip.  Other than the Flamsbana train ride and the fjord cruise, I could have been okay with not doing the rest of the tour.  However, during the summer, it is probably very good as the land will be lush and the days longer.

The night train back to Oslo was great though.  We upgraded to a sleeper car (totally worth the extra 850 Kronor!).  I was so well-rested upon arrival that I didn’t even bother with a nap today.  This tour is a bit expensive (2240 Kronor = approximately 390 USD (without the sleeper car)) but you do have a fully packed day.  While this is officially a “tour”, there is no actual guide.  You receive your tickets and a schedule.  I highly recommend bringing along a guidebook (Rick Steves’ Scandinavia has an excellent step-by-step guide of this tour which helps you to understand what you are seeing and what to expect next).

Looking for a hotel in Oslo?  Check out my review of the Thon Hotel Astoria here.

Sensational Sorrento

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Beautiful, bellissima Sorrento.  What an absolutely breathtaking place!  We stopped at a furniture factory on the drive to Sorrento where they made custom-made tables, chairs, music boxes, jewelry boxes, etc.  The work was beautiful!  Here is a picture of my brother standing on top of one of the tables.  The owner told him to stand on it to prove its durability.

There was also this cute little dog who would not let me take his picture.  Every time he saw me coming, he was like, “nope” and ran off.  Finally, I was able to catch him and zoom in.

The views in Sorrento were spectacular!

  

        

Love, love, love Sorrento!  It’s a beautiful & laid-back city.  I love the quaintness & small town feel.  This region is known for Limoncello (a very strong lemon-flavored liquor).  Sorrento is where the legend of the “3 Sirens” originated.  The Seirenes (or Sirens) were three sea nymphs who lured sailors to their death with a bewitching song.  The sound of their singing would drive them mad (kinda like the first few weeks of American Idol) and they would crash their ships into the mountains.  However, Odysseus was hip to their game and put wax in his ears so he was able to sail thru with no problems.  The legend goes on to state that the sirens were so upset about Odysseus out-smarting them that they tossed themselves into the sea and formed the 3 small islands pictured below.

Sorrento is a great anchor city to stay while you visit the Amalfi coast.  The island of Capri and other beautiful towns (Positano, Ravello, etc) are nearby.

One Day in Paris

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December 29, 2011

What would you do if you had only 1 day to experience the enchanting city of Paris?

Bonjour!  Aaron, Joyce, Stefanie, Luciana (“The Crew”) and I decide to take a day trip to Paris from London.  While this is my third trip to this intoxicating city, it’s the first visit for my co-travellers.  The great thing about this city is that you can always find something new to discover!  We ended up fitting about 3 days worth of sightseeing into 11 hours.  It was glorious!  If you plan to do a day trip, be sure to get lots of sleep and wear comfortable shoes because it will wear you out!  I’ve covered Paris in 3 other blog posts so most of the info in this post will be high-level (with links throughout to posts with more detail). 

* Just a quick note that this post is going to get risqué by the end since I will be recapping my visit to the Museum of Erotica…you’ve been warned 🙂

Our schedule for the day:

7:01 Depart London St.-Pancras, set our watch 1 hour ahead
10:17 Arrive in Paris, take Metro to Notre-Dame
10:30 Explore Notre-Dame
11:00 Lunch at a French cafe in Ile de la Cite
12:00 Walking tour of the Latin Quarter, Tuileries Gardens, the Louvre, Ile de la Cite/Ile St. Louis, Saint-Chappelle, Deportation Memorial, Pont Neuf, La Comedie Francaise, Opera Garnier, Palais Royale, Place de La Concorde, Palais de Justice, Pantheon, Champs-Elysees. 
3:00 Visit Montmartre area (Sacre-Coeur, Moulin Rouge and Musee de l’erotisme)
6:00 Visit the Eiffel Tower
7:00 Dinner at a French cafe.  Be back at Gare du Nord (train station) by 8:25pm.
9:13 Depart Paris for London (arrive in London at 10:36)

The Crew & I are up at 4:30am to get dressed and take the Tube to St. Pancras station to catch the 7:01am train to Paris.  OMG, it’s early y’all.  Eurostar requires you to check-in at least 30 minutes prior to the train leaving (you also need to account for time to go through security…so budget about 45 minutes or so).  After we check-in, we get breakfast and hang out until it’s time to leave.

 

Once we board the train, it’s about 2 1/2 hour ride to Paris.  We decide to use this time to take a nap.

   

We arrive in Paris around 10:30am (Paris is 1 hour ahead of London) and get on the Paris Metro.  Quick tip:  I purchased our Metro tickets in advance thru Rail Europe (at the same time as our train tickets) and this saved us so much time.  The lines for tickets had about a 20 minute wait.  I just bought day passes so we wouldn’t have to worry about purchasing travel tickets each time we rode the Metro.  It definitely helped us spend more time sightseeing than worrying about logistics.

We hop on the Metro and head towards the Notre Dame stop.  As we exit the train station, we come upon Palais de Justice.

  

Our first stop was the beautiful Notre Dame Cathedral (also known as Our Lady of Paris).  This magnificent cathedral took 185 years to complete (1160 – 1345).  The builders used the popular Gothic style and it’s noted for its flying buttresses.  It has been thru many alterations since completion in order to keep it current with modern conveniences. 

In 1793, during the French Revolution, the cathedral was rededicated to the Cult of Reason, and then to the Cult of the Supreme Being. During this time, many of the treasures of the cathedral were either destroyed or plundered. The statues of biblical kings of Judah (erroneously thought to be kings of France) were beheaded. Many of the heads were found during a 1977 excavation nearby and are on display at the Musée de Cluny. For a time, Lady Liberty replaced the Virgin Mary on several altars. The cathedral’s great bells managed to avoid being melted down. The cathedral came to be used as a warehouse for the storage of food (source Wikipedia).  I find the French Revolution fascinating (I mean, seriously, how out of touch did the royals have to be?).  You can read my comical take on the origins of the French Revolution in my Versailles recap titled E True Versailles Story:  Royals Gone Wild.

The exterior of the church is absolutely breathtaking.  You can see the kings of Judah as well as the Virgin Mary holding Baby Jesus.

   

The inside of the cathedral was beautiful and serene.  All cathedrals have the same layout (in the form of a cross).  It’s a very overwhelming and calming experience.

       

After we leave Notre Dame, we walk to Ile St. Louis (“St. Louis island) and stop for lunch at a little cafe called Le Flore en L’Ile (where they serve the famous Berthillon ice cream).  Ile St. Louis is the high-rent residential area of Paris (Johnny Depp has an apartment here!).

 

We walk past the back of the Notre-Dame and go to the Deportation Memorial.  I’ve been to this area twice before and never noticed this garden nestled among the trees.  The Memorial de la Deportation is a memorial to the 200,000 French victims of Nazi concentration camps. 

Then we cross the Seine…

  

…and see the “love locks”.  Couples who marry place locks along the bridge and throw the key into the river to signify that their love cannot be broken.  No idea what the folks do who have combination locks (maybe those signify pre-nups). 

 

We walk along the Seine towards the Louvre and pass thru the Latin Quarter.  I cover my tour of the Louvre pretty thoroughly in my Paris Ooh La La post (it also includes a recap of the Paris Ghost Tour which was so entertaining).

  

While Joyce & Stefanie toured the Louvre; Aaron, Ciana and I took the Metro to Montmartre to visit Sacre-Coeur.  “The Basilica of the Sacred Heart of Paris, commonly known as Sacré-Cœur Basilica, is a Roman Catholic church and minor basilica.   A popular landmark, the basilica is located at the summit of the butte Montmartre, the highest point in the city. Sacré-Cœur is a double monument, political and cultural, both a national penance for the supposed excesses of the Second Empire and socialist Paris Commune of 1871 crowning its most rebellious neighborhood, and an embodiment of conservative moral order, publicly dedicated to the Sacred Heart of Jesus, which was an increasingly popular vision of a loving and sympathetic Christ.  The Sacré-Cœur Basilica was designed by Paul Abadie. Construction began in 1875 and was finished in 1914. It was consecrated after the end of World War I in 1919.” (source, Wikipedia)

Climbing up the steps to reach Sacre-Coeur is a workout in and of itself.  My glutes were on fire!  But the view is phenomenal and well worth it.

  

While the view is fantastic, let me warn you that the pickpockets are out in full effect.  Due to this area being extremely crowded, thieves are always on the lookout for something free.  Sigh.  I covered my own “attempted” pickpocket experience in  The Wonderful World of Paris post.  You already know I had a “I wish a mutha-*&!@ would pickpocket me today!” attitude.  Ha!

After we leave Sacre-Coeur, we decided to stroll through the artsy Montmartre neighborhood.  An interesting fun fact to know is that many artists had studios or worked around the community of Montmartre (such as Salvador Dalí, Claude Monet, Pablo Picasso and Vincent van Gogh).

We pass by a sweet shop and couldn’t resist going in.  I love how happy sugar-filled shops are 🙂

 

As we were chatting and walking down Boulevard de Clichy, I started to notice something.  Every store seemed to have a theme.  Now, if you have tender sensibilities, are under the age of 18 or are my Mom, stop reading, k?  If you want to read but don’t want to admit to your inner freak, then go on and close the door.  I’ll wait.

  

Wait…what?  Does the sign on that store say “Pussy’s”?  I don’t see any cats.  Is that a pimp leaning up against the wall?  OMG, this is the French “Hustle & Flow”.  Now I’ve got that “It’s Hard Out Here for a Pimp” song in my head and I’m gonna be saying ‘mane’ like Terrence Howard. FRACK.  I HATE THAT SONG! 

How did we stumble into the freak nasty section of Paris?  Why didn’t I see this in Rick Steves?  What startled me was that you just kinda came up on it and it was like, “BAM…take off your drawers/panties.”  If you have a heavy sexual appetite, this smorgasbord of sex is for you.  When I was in Amsterdam, I expected freak fest (and let’s be honest…you know you would’ve been all over this too, k?). 

We had about 30 minutes to kill until we met back up with Joyce & Stefanie so we end up going to the Musee de l’erotisme (Museum of Erotica) which was about 10 Euro.  Let me just say that you are not ready for this place.  Seriously.  I thought it would be some sort of campy “museum” but this turned out to be a full-on 7 level museum dedicated to all forms of erotica.  And, it took us much longer than 30 minutes to go through the entire place.  I am not ashamed to admit I learned something!  For those of you “innocents” out there, this is the time for you to put on some pearls so you can get to clutching.

I was not ready.  And, y’all aren’t either.  Which is why I’m taking you on the tour with me (yes, I was *that girl* who whipped out the camera and giggled or said “shut the front door!” while taking pictures for y’all.  You’re welcome).

So let’s get started.  First, let me say that this turned into my birthday present for my cousin, Aaron (since we were in Paris on his special day).  Second, even he was shocked which is saying something.  Third — Mom, are you still reading this?  Aaron made me go in.  I was fine with visiting the cathedrals 🙂

This is the first thing I see when we enter the museum…

Um, what kind of chair is this?  And, is it for sale?

Then it was on to these gems:

   

Each floor as a “theme”.  They start you off tame…then it gets freakier each level you ascend.  The first floor was dedicated to the “religious” and cultural aspects of sex across the world.  The big dildo you see above?  That’s “prayer wood”.  HAHAHAHAHAHA.  Wooo, stop it.  I cannot see taking that to Zion Hill Baptist Church and shouting out “CALLING ALL PRAYER WARRIORS!” 

Have you been looking for some new sandals for the summer?  Well here you go.

Oh yes, you are seeing right.  Dildo sandals.  I believe they may be multi-purpose.

Then we get to the Japanese proverbs.  This stuff is golden.  I heard a guy saying “this is deep, man.” (you can click on the photos to enlarge).

Then there was the “pillow book”which is basically a how-to manual to subjugate women *eye roll*…

 

Next is the Chinese version of the “Kama Sutra”.

We then head to the next level which is all about brothels. 

 

You can see photos of some of the “working girls” and the ledger of how much pimps/madams made.

Below is an excerpt of a book which basically said that prostitutes became lesbians out of boredom or because they hated how they were treated by men.

Keep in mind that there are a lot of photos but I only took a handful on each floor…didn’t want to seem like a sex-crazed pervert.  We then head upstairs.  Each landing has some sort of erotic art like…

As we come to the top of the stairs, I notice a large flat screen tv and couches with some lighted scented candles.  The tv wasn’t showing anything at that time but I assumed it was a video about the history of erotica.  

Wrong.

So wrong.

Ciana, Aaron and I had been walking around and looking at all the statues, pictures, etc.  I got caught up looking at something (I can’t even remember…I was constantly lagging behind due to taking pictures).  As I walk back towards the stairs, I see the video has started and Ciana & Aaron are slack-jawed.  Apparently, I had just missed what I assumed was the informational video but a new one is starting.  There is a crowd with people sitting on the couch and standing around. 

I turn to look at the tv screen and see it’s a silent movie…and it’s porn.  That’s right, silent porn.  With subtitles…black and white…and looks to have been filmed in the 1920s.  The film was set in a monastery with a “monk” making dinner for 2 “nuns”.  And, I swear that the subtitle said “the sisters decided to have each other for “hors d’oeuvres”.  Wait…what?  Next thing I know, the “sisters” have ripped off each others “habits” and are going to town on each other!  WHAT?  The subtitles keep popping up because apparently you need to be told the continuing storyline in case you got lost.  The “monk” was peeping thru a window and then another “monk” comes up behind him, snatches his pants down and starts having sex with him.  I was done.  I couldn’t watch anymore…in a room full of folks…with a storyline set in church.  I’m trying to see Jesus some day and I don’t have time to explain my visit to the Museum of Erotica to Peter.  I already have way too much to account for.  Which now includes this visit because you know I didn’t leave. 

We turned quickly and went up to the next level…which was “porn thru the years”.  There were 3 smaller tv’s on each table set in a triangle pattern.  This apparently is for more intimate viewing.  But you are still at a table with other folks.  Really?  They had porn from every culture thru a span of 50 or 60 years.  Even interviews with adult film stars.  As we are walking up to the 6th level, we see photos of different “genres” of porn…like vampire porn.  *hangs head*

The 6th floor is dedicated to what I’m gonna call “cartoon” porn.  I’m sure it has some sort of slick name but it’s freaky stuff in cartoon fashion.  Like they needed to draw up Smurfette getting it on with Papa Smurf.  There’s something for everybody here.

The last floor focused on “doll” porn.  Poor Barbie.  She’s a ho.

 

By the time we reached Bimbo Barbie, I was exhausted.  Who knew that looking at all that erotica would wear you out?  We ended up taking the elevator down to the first floor and saw this magnificent display at the exit.

Afterwards, I felt like I needed to smoke a cigarette.  Woooo!  Thanks, Paris.

We leave the museum and head towards Moulin Rouge

Then take the Metro back to the Louvre to meet up with Joyce & Stef.

We all walk from the Louvre thru the Tuleries Garden and see that there is a huge ferris wheel!

 

By this point, our feet are killing us but we still have one more stop before dinner…and that is to the Eiffel Tower!

Then finally, it was time to rest and eat.  We ended up eating at a cafe across the street from the train station.  Which was a good thing because we almost missed our train!  Overall, it was a great day trip.  We were able to see a lot.  I would definitely recommend staying for more than a day because Paris at night is fabulous!  Looking for things to do in Paris?  Check out my post The Top 10 Things to do in Paris.  Au revoir!

The Gritty G: Genoa, Italy

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I left Milan and took the train to Genoa where I would be working for the week.  Renee and I had already peeped out crazy at the train station this morning.  In fact, Renee had dubbed this person “Bushwick Bill” because the resemblance from afar was uncanny and this person just started going off for no reason. However, upon closer inspection, Bushwick Bill turned out to be Bushwick Belinda. Crazy has no gender, y’all.

The train ride to Genoa was actually very peaceful. We rode thru the alps and I got to see a lot of snow! A couple of towns looked like something out of a fairy tale.  However, once I got to Genoa (or “Genova” as it is called here), things changed. New Nikki is still trying to hang on and be positive. It’s still January! I check into my hotel — The Grand Hotel Savoia (which is actually pretty cool — each room is different and is furnished with antique furniture).  You can read my hotel review here.  The view from the room is nice too!

After I check-in, I decided to explore the city and find a good hole-in-the-wall Italian restaurant & some gelato. Sounds pretty simple, right? Wrong.

I start out walking around trying to get acquainted with the area so I know where I need to go tomorrow. So, I’m walking and passing some nice sites which I am sure would be stunning when it’s sunny —

       

But, I start to notice something. In 1 hour, I have seen more Africans and Asians than I have in the 9 days I’ve been in France & Italy. Not only that…they are the majority of the people I am seeing which is why I even noticed. Native Italians are scarce. I’m hungry and trying to find an Italian restaurant is proving difficult.  If you want Chinese or Moroccan, you’ve got your pick. It was so weird seeing a majority of people who were not “Italian”. I almost thought about hosting a telethon or something because they seem to be extinct!  I’m guessing it’s because it’s a Sunday.

Anyway, I’m walking and I’m hungry. At this time, Old Nikki is making an appearance because I’m irritated that I can’t find an Italian restaurant that is open. I’m reduced to walking the back streets trying to find something. Now, in hindsight, this may not have been my smartest move because let me tell you…I saw the underbelly of Genoa. But, hunger makes you do strange things. I’m walking and I see every ethnic group except Italian.  You’ve got hair salons, knock-off bags (seriously…it was like Canal Street), folks playing craps and drinking beer…overall, it was the ghetto. You didn’t see dogs wearing their designer outfits here. I can’t find a gelatteria but, I did find some woman going off on a guy, a guy getting his hair cornrowed (seriously?), liquor stores, every ethnic store you can think of and Black Widow Records.

Oh, and I can’t forget about the sex shops…everywhere. But, they call them “sexy shops”.  That’s right, I had to attach a picture because I knew y’all wouldn’t believe me. This is just one of the (what I am sure) are dozens. You can buy your porn right on the main drag or the dark alleys (which surround the city and offer you all kinds of things you don’t want your mama knowing about). I mean, when you have signs notating that you can buy your porn soft or hard, I think that may be a bit much. A selection of porn but no gelato? You see where I’m going with this?

Between all the ethnic groups and sex shops, I had to ask myself how long I slept on the train because maybe I missed my stop? I have never seen Italy like this. It’s like the HBO/Cinemax version of Epcot. A bit of Africa, China, Amsterdam, and India.

After walking around in the ghetto (and getting lost still searching for some daggum gelato. I mean, come on, Italy! How are you not going to have gelato but you got Moo Goo Gai Pan???), I feel like I’m a survivor. In fact, I’m penning my rhymes now that I got street cred and submitting my track “Where the D@$n Gelato?” to Black Widow Records [“You got General Tsos but no Gelato…that’s wackity wack.”] LOL. Shoot, next week, I may be rolling with the B-Dub crew. Kinda like their Tupac or something. That’s right. Y’all don’t know about the Italian Bankhead.

Swiss Miss: The Olympic Museum & Lovely Lausanne (Switzerland)

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While visiting Geneva, I decided to take a quick trip to Lausanne (which is 40 minutes from Geneva, 30 minutes from Chillon).  Lausanne is MUCH better than Geneva so my advice is to skip Geneva and spend your time visiting Lausanne, Montreux and Chillon.

Lake Geneva is in the southwest corner of Switzerland and separates the country from France.  This area is known as the Swiss Riviera and the predominant language is French.  Lausanne calls itself the “Olympic Capital” (it has been the home to the International Olympic Committee since 1915).  This colorful city was first founded on the lakefront by the Romans (and really, what city didn’t they discover???).  Once Rome fell, the original Lausanners fled to the hills to escape the barbarians and established what is today referred to as “vieille ville” (old town).  Lausanne has 2 parts:  1) the lakefront Ouchy (which has restaurants & the Olympic Museum) and 2) old town which has an Old World charm and other museums (i.e. Collection de l’Art Brut).  These two areas are connected by the Metro funicular (source Rick Steves’ “Switzerland”).

Lausanne is absolutely beautiful and very serene.  You can walk along Lake Geneva during the breathtaking sunset.

  

Or, stop to view the flower displays as you stroll the main boulevard.

   

We arrive in Lausanne and take a taxi to the Olympic Museum (which is AWESOME!).  This museum is interesting to both Olympic enthusiasts and those of us who like to watch the games every 2 years.  As you enter the museum, you will pass by the Olympic store which has shirts, posters, etc. from previous games (and the future London 2012 games).  After you pay the entrance fee, you are given a ticket which you will need to insert into the turnstiles to enter each exhibit.

They have several small theaters which recount the history of the Olympics.  In 1894, Pierre de Coubertin founded the International Olympic Committee and restarted the games after a 1,500 year lapse.  Barron de Coubertin was a teacher who was born into a French aristocratic family.  He was really into physical fitness and channelled that passion into restarting the games.  During the film, you hear him ask the nations that will take part in the games to respect each other.  Now, I do have to give Mr. de Coubertin the side-eye because he felt that the inclusion of women would be “impractical, uninteresting, unaesthetic, and incorrect.”  Whatever, Pierre.  Women eventually were allowed to compete in the 1900 Summer Olympics in Paris. 

The ground floor traces the history of the Olympics from its start in Greece through about a century’s worth of ceremonial olympic torches.

 

Upstairs has medals and information/highlights from each Olympics.

Muhammad Ali’s shoe from his gold medal win in boxing at the 1960 Summer Olympics in Rome.

Wilma Rudolph’s track shoe that she wore to win three Olympic titles (the 100 m, 200 m and the 4 x 100 m relay) at the same 1960 Summer Olympics in Rome as Muhammad Ali.

The basketball signed by the U.S. “Dream Team” led by Michael Jordan at the 1992 Summer Olympics in Barcelona.

And, Shannon Miller’s leotard from her gold medal win for balance beam at the 1996 Summer Olympics in Atlanta.

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Charming Château de Chillon (Switzerland)

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The majestically beautiful Château de Chillon (Chillon Castle) is located on the shore of Lake Léman (Lake Geneva) in the commune of Veytaux, at the eastern end of the lake, 3 km from Montreux, Switzerland. The castle consists of 100 independent buildings that were gradually connected to become the building as it stands now (source Wikipedia).  The cities along Lake Geneva make up the fabulous French Swiss Riviera!  I took the train from Geneva to Montreux.  Then, hopped on a bus to Chillon.

Incredibly, Château de Chillon is very well-preserved.  Unlike many other castles in Europe, it has never been damaged or destroyed.  Per the website, the history of the castle was influenced by three major periods:

  • The Savoy period (12th century to 1536)
    The oldest written document mentioning the castle dates from 1150; it says that the House of Savoy already controlled the route along the shores of Lake Geneva.
  • The Bernese period (1536-1798)
    The Swiss, more precisely the Bernese, conquered the Pays de Vaud and occupied Chillon in 1536. The castle retained its role as a fortress, arsenal and prison for over 260 ans.
  • The Vaudois period (1798 to the present)
    The Bernese left Chillon in 1798 at the time of the Vaudois Revolution. The castle became the property of the Canton of Vaud when it was founded in 1803. The restoration of the historical monument began at the end of the 19th Century and continues to this day.

All in all, the castle has been used in a variety of ways:  as an armory, warehouse, prison, hospital and tourist attraction.  As you enter the grounds, you feel like you have gone back in time.  The people who work at the castle all wear period-era clothes so as you tour the castle, you feel as if you have stepped into life in the 1500’s.

Chillon Castle is surrounded by a natural moat so you cross a bridge to get to it.

 

Then, as your walk down the path, you come upon the castle and beautiful Lake Geneva.

  

As you enter the castle, you walk into the main courtyard (there are 3 courtyards in total).  This is where the main action took place.

      

I picked up an audio guide then started the tour.  First thing I see is a model of what the original castle looked like.

Then, I tour the “Underground” which is spectacular!  It held the wine and prison.  It’s most well-known for the imprisonment of Bonivard, made famous by Lord Byron, who made him the hero of his poem “The Prisoner of Chillon”.

   

Next stop was the great halls which had beautiful windows with seats to look out over the courtyards or Lake Geneva.

Chambre bernoise

A comfortable bedroom, with rather subdued decoration, a large four-poster bed, heating, private toilet and even running water!

  

A quick note about the potty above.  First, you see that 2 people can go at the same time…with no barrier between them.  Reminds me of Ephesus where there were 10 potties like this.  I can’t imagine talking to Mary while doing #2.  Shoot, I don’t even like doing that when there is someone in the bathroom with stalls!  Second, if you look down into the lid, you will see that it empties straight into the lake.  So, um…I’m not thinking a lot of people went skinny-dipping.

Views of Lake Geneva from the castle.

  

Torture Chamber.  While I was there, I was able to view the Temporary exhibition: “Witch-hunting in the Pays de Vaud, from the 15th to the 17th centuries”.

The Pays de Vaud was the site of major witch-hunts between the 15th and the 17th centuries. During this period, there were more than 2000 death sentences!

On a larger scale, Switzerland within the current borders if the time holds not only the record for the longest-lasting repression of witchcraft but also for the largest number of people persecuted for this crime, in relation to the population. In almost three centuries, 5,000 people were accused and 3,500 of them were put to death, mainly by fire, with 60 – 70% being women.

Chillon Castle was an important detention centre for people suspected of witchcraft, either when awaiting trail or carrying out their sentence. During the term of the Bernese bailiff, Nicolas de Watteville, from 1595 to 1601, some forty-odd people were executed at Chillon, La Tour-de-Peilz and Vevey. And 27 more in 1613! Their Excellencies of Bern noted “…with regret and sadness the extent to which the negation of God and submission to the evil spirit was growing among our subjects in the Romand (French-speaking) country.” (source Chateau de Chillon website).

Finally, some photos I took while walking around the castle.

     

Overall, I thought Château de Chillon was fascinating and beautiful.  It’s a great tour idea for kids!  If you are ever in the Swiss Riviera region, check it out.  Try to go in the late afternoon so you can see the sunset at the castle.  Absolutely amazing!