International Travel Chick

Dear Riley,

Last night, my Mom came home from work and started freaking out & screaming.  At first, I thought she was drunk but realized that she was home too early to have been at happy hour.  All I kept hearing was “BAD GIRL!!!  WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?”  Then, I focus on what she’s screaming about:

She thinks I did it.  Didn’t even ASK ME.  No benefit of the doubt.  No “innocent until proven guilty.”  I feel like I’m being animally profiled.  Just because the trash can is on its side and its contents are strewn about…all fingers point to me.  I’m writing you this letter from jail (i.e. my crate where I’m in time out).  How do I acquit myself of these heinous charges? 

~Pleading For Paw Justice

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Dear Paw Justice,

This is a classic case of animal profiling and I think I can help get you released…