Tag: Tourism

The Secret World of Pompeii

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Okay, y’all ain’t ready for this.  I wasn’t ready.  As you know, I like to give you a little flavor along with the history of the sites I visit.  Well, when our tour guide gave us the background on what life was really like in Pompeii before it was destroyed, it was like I was listening to “E True Hollywood Story: Pompeii”.  There is just so much.

First, the excavation site was visually more stunning than I expected.  Second, I was amazed that so many ancient homes were still somewhat intact.  I can’t even imagine my house being around thousands of years from now.

As we are walking, the guide tells us about the people of Pompeii.  I’m listening kind of lazily while taking pictures.  I mean, I’d just hiked up a volcano so my attention span was on a downward spiral.  Anyway, the guide says a series of things that capture and hold my interest for the rest of the day.

1.            Pompeii had an open sewer.  That’s right; Pompeii’s theme song was “Funkytown”.  I know…I couldn’t really believe it either.  I had to ask for clarification because it just seemed too nasty to be real.  Feces and urine would run down the streets and they would wait for the rain to wash it away.  Sorry for you if it happened to be a dry month.  You can see in this picture that there are huge stones that the people would use to cross the street (I like to call it “Doo Doo Crossing”) so they wouldn’t have to step in that crap (you know they only wore sandals which meant if they stepped in it, then they got the full effect).  I am sure that folks inevitably fell off the stones.  Maybe that is where the saying “Oh, sh*t!” came from?

2.            The rich folks in Pompeii were pompous.  Apparently, the good citizens of Funkytown liked to show off their wealth.  When you went over to Titus’s house, he had his treasure chest open on the front table so you could see how rich he was.  Also, they had a tiled mosaic of a big dog with “beware of dog” (in Latin) in the foyer.  So, basically, they invited you over and said, “Hey, look at all my money…but don’t try to take it because Fido will kill you.  More wine?”  This was well before the time of Occupy Pompeii Street.

  

3.            Pompeii was full of freaks.  Apparently, Pompeii was where the party was at.  They had 80 bars and 25 brothels.  With the open sewer.  I am not able to get past the open sewer so let’s just address that now.  It’s gonna come up…often.  Anyway, the freaks did come out at night and they were doing things that Rick James couldn’t even dream of.  Modern Pompeii is full of people selling erotic calendars, statues, playing cards, etc (see below).  Now, I originally thought these sexual position scenes may have been their version of “art” back then.  But, the guide pointed out that they posted these scenes in the bedrooms of the whorehouses as a “menu of services” (just like McDonald’s).  You know I was looking to see what the “goings on” were (purely for research purposes only).  You ain’t ready for that.  A menu of sexual services.  Seriously.  After getting your drank on at one of the 80 bars then crossing and falling into the open sewer, you go over to Octavia’s and ask for a #3.  Love it.

 

4.            Funk is a theme.  Now, the good people of Pompeii didn’t have bath tissue back then so they had to make do.  The lower caste folks would just wipe their booty with the left hand and eat with the right (they didn’t have forks or spoons back then which means they really needed both hands).  The rich folks would use a communal sea sponge for the family.  I’m gonna let that marinate for a minute.  Imagine you and your family all using the same sponge to wipe after doing #2.  I guess if they can deal with the open sewers, they can deal with a communal sponge.  They also used urine to bleach their clothes.  Really?  My dog would love that.

5.            They had cafes!  We found these bars with counters.  People would come in during the day and have bread and wine.  They paid their money and would sit at tables to socialize.  I never imagined an ancient civilization with marble counters!

 

It broke my heart to see the castes of the human & canine remains that were preserved from the lava and ash.  You can see the remains below of a man, dog and slave.

  

Overall, Pompeii was fascinating!  I highly recommend a visit if you ever plan to be in the Naples or Sorrento area.

        

E True Versailles Story: Royals Gone Wild

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I decided to tour Versailles.  Since I had such a great time on the Night Bike Tour in Paris, I booked the Versailles tour through Fat Tire Bike Tours as well.  The tour lasts approximately 8.5 hours so it’s a full day of riding & sightseeing.

While in Paris, we ride our bikes from the bike shop to the train station (which is about 10 minutes away), then put the bikes on the train for a 20 minute ride to Versailles.  Once we arrive, we pedal over to the farmer’s market to buy food for our picnic that afternoon.

The market is fantastic!  You can really go broke (because a tray of raspberries and other fruit cost me 17 euros) but the freshness of the food is unbelievable.  I ended up buying some fruit, tomatoes, green beans, rotisserie chicken and water.  I passed on buying a bottle of wine as I remembered the drunk pedaling from before.  So, after we load up the bikes with our purchases, we bike over to the grounds of the Palace of Versailles (or as it is called in French, Château de Versailles).

Apparently, they try to keep the château & grounds true to history so the horses and sheep are there for decoration which has to be a pretty plush job for them.  Our fabulous tour guides are Sadie and Matt.

Okay…I hope I remember all the history correctly.  If there are inaccuracies, then let me know.  Versailles used to be the hunting grounds of King Louis XIII and was made the capital of France by King Louis XIV (“KL14”) from 1682 until the French Revolution which started in 1789.  Three kings lived in Versailles (KL14 who built the Palace of Versailles, KL15 who enjoyed it, and KL16 who paid for it…with his head).

The Palace is lavish…in fact, it’s downright gaudy.  You know how some folks just don’t know that less is more?  Well, that was the Louis’.  In the end, all that flash came back to bite them in the butt.

This place has a lot of gold…like Mr. T had been their architect and interior designer.  They just covered everything with flowers and paintings.  It was like they had to have it all.  Even if it didn’t quite blend in with the décor.  They’d just see something, buy it, put it in a room and name it a certain “salon”.

Apparently, the Dauphin & Dauphine (king and queen) had their own set of suites on opposite sides of the palace.  And, considering all the mistresses that KL14 & 15 had, it’s no surprise.

The dining room was called the “Hall of Mirrors” and is 250 feet long, with 17 arched windows and 17 matching arched mirrors that look at the garden.  The literature states that it “reflects an age when beautiful people loved to look at themselves.”  I saw the portraits of a lot of folks back then and um…let’s just say that beauty is truly in the eye of the beholder.  Maybe it’s just me but I think I’ve only seen 1 portrait of someone who I thought was attractive.  Otherwise, they just all looked plain.  And, a couple of the women look like men dressed in drag.  I mean, it was a painting so they could’ve done some photoshopping and prettied them up with a few strokes of the paintbrush.  One woman was painted with a light mustache.  If that was me, the painter would’ve have been shown the door.  Make me thinner & prettier…not fatter and more masculine.

Sorry, I digressed.  Guess I got caught up in all the beauty.  Back to the dining room.  It was huge.  But KL14 (or as he named himself, the “Sun King”) felt like he needed more space to entertain.  So, he made all the people move out of the village of Trianon so he could build a SECOND DINING ROOM!  Apparently, pretty people need a lot of space to eat.  KL14 went all out.  Nothing was too good…he even had the marble brought in from Italy.  KL14 was spending the money from France’s treasury on furnishing his home like he was at the strip club making it rain.  One figure I heard was that he spent HALF of what was in the treasury.  So, he kicked the folks out the area and named the dining hall after the village in honor of them.  I’m sure they appreciated that sentiment as they were living under a bridge.

If anything, KL14 needed to be building a shower and bathtub because it is rumored that he only bathed two or three times in his life.  I was reading The Raucous Royals (because I love gossip & scandal even if it’s hundreds of years old), and it stated that “In King Louis XIV’s day, people thought a good, thick, grimy layer of filth would keep you healthy and strong.  They believed water spread diseases by penetrating the pores of the skin and then infecting the bloodstream.  Most people didn’t bathe more than once a year. The wealthy did change their linen throughout the day because they believed that the linen wicked away sweat and dirt, but they still stunk.”  And that made no logical sense.  Come on, France.  To combat the smells, the men and ladies in KL14’s court would douse themselves with perfumes and powders.  So, imagine being back in that day and having to smell Jean-Claude’s funk mixed with Cody Wild Musk for Men.  Ewwww.

To be fair, the book stated that KL14 was so clean that he was almost fussy about it. “He often bathed in a big Turkish bath.  When not in his bath, he rubbed spirits or alcohol on his skin (perfume gave him headaches), which acted as a disinfectant. And, as if that were not enough, he changed his undies three times a day!”  The book also said that KL14 towered over his subjects at an amazing 6’10”. Unfortunately, he was only 5’4” when naked.  “To compensate for his short stature, he wore a twelve-inch-high wig and six-inch red heels. But this was one look that no one could copy. King Louis XIV decreed that only the king could wear red heels.”  Only the king wears Prada, y’all.

Now, this book also said that Queen Elizabeth 1 would bleach her teeth with dog urine so keep that in mind when judging the veracity of their information.  Regardless of bathing or not, whatever he did it must have paid off because KL14 lived to the ripe old age of seventy-seven and was king for seventy-two years, longer than any other French monarch in history.

So, KL14 builds up a lavish palace and dies then KL15 assumes the throne (after a regency period since he was only 5 when his great-granddaddy went to the gilded gates).  KL15 was known as the playboy extraordinaire.  He claims to have had 5000 mistresses.  Okay, Wilt Chamberlain.  One mistress, Marie Anne de Maillynesle, put together a business plan for her future when her looks started to fade.  She figured out that KL15 liked his women more than ruling so when she felt like she was getting too old, instead of having him kick her to the curb…she became a pimp and procured women for him.  However, she wanted more power…and since he didn’t really want to govern anything outside the bedroom, he let A Pimp Named Marie Anne run the country.  She would just start wars (like the Seven Years War) so she could resolve them and have even more power.  The most famous of his mistresses are Madame du Pompadour and Madame du Barry.  Of course, with all the sleeping around he was doing, you know they all had cooties.  How are you going to be scared of water but not STDs?  Come on, France.

We then pedal over to the Hamlet of The Domaine de Marie Antoinette (aka The Hamlet).  In order to understand the significance of The Hamlet, I’ll give you a bit of background about the events leading up to the French Revolution.  As I stated above, KL14 & 15 were living the high life by spending money on buildings, wars, clothes and women.

Then, KL16 comes along.  He was set to marry Marie-Antoinette after the Seven Years War as a way to solidify peace between France & Austria.  The story goes that KL16 was a nerdy kid who, at 15 (the age he married Marie-Antoinette), preferred to collect bugs & locks than look at women.  Then, there was the supposedly beautiful Marie-Antoinette (“MA”).  Sigh.  I saw the painting.  We’ll give her a pass.  So, “beautiful” MA marries KL16 at the age of 14.  Her primary goal was to get knocked up with some heirs.  But, KL16 wanted to go out and collect fireflies and pick locks.  And, MA, having read the precursor to the book, “He’s Just Not That Into You” was upset.  Which many women can sympathize with.  It’s one thing to be rejected by a fine man.  Quite another to be rejected by the French Urkel.  MA tries to seduce KL16 to no avail.  People start looking at her all suspiciously because she hasn’t gotten knocked up yet.  So, she did what most women do when they are depressed.  No, not eat chocolate and binge drink (or maybe that’s just me).  She went shopping.  And spent MASSIVE amounts of money on all the latest fashions.  Where did that money come from?  The treasury into which folks paid their taxes.

Finally, 7 years later, MA gets pregnant.  Maybe she put on some kinky ladybug lingerie and rubbed her legs together like a spider to entice KL16.  Who knows?  She ended up having 4 kids.  After having her kids, she decided that she wanted to know what it was like to live like a peasant…so she had The Hamlet built.

This “peasant village” was basically a big dollhouse & playground.  She had sheep that she would have dyed a different color each day depending on her mood.  She then would pretend to milk a cow into a porcelain bowl.  Her peasant dresses were tailored.  You can only imagine from the pictures how much this little playground cost the taxpayers.  And, apparently, when the villagers saw her making a mockery of their lives…well, let’s just say that karma is a ______.

MA had her own place with a moat around it and required KL16 to send a written request before coming to visit.  Legend is that she had a Swedish lover that she would meet at the Temple of Love she had built for their rendezvous (which was not at all discreet…Temple of Love, Marie?  Seriously?).  With 80 acres of land, they could slip off and not be seen by anybody.

After the French monarchy were on MTV’s “Cribs”, the bourgeoisie class (which were the middle class and merchants) were like, “WTF?”  They were tired of seeing their hard-earned money go to waste.  People were starving because taxes had risen dramatically to pay for such a lavish lifestyle in Versailles.  So, they ended up signing the “Tennis Court Treaty” where they wrote a constitution and basically decided to revolt.  Which, I don’t know why KL16 didn’t see this coming.  The French had just helped out the US for the American Revolutionary War…put down the bugs, buddy.  You know the Americans were like, “Listen, Pierre, you gots to get out now.  You think I’m gonna let George tell me what to do?  I’m not calling him “king”.  Plus, I think he’s got a mental illness and I don’t have time for the drama.  Britain can kick rocks!!! U-S-A-U-S-A-U-S-A.  What?  Is he your master now?  Can he beat you up?  You need to take notes and tell Louis that France don’t have time for bug collectin’ and prancing around in stockings and high heels while folks can’t buy bread!  Revolt, man!”  While KL16 was collecting butterflies, the French were collecting guns.

So, the French Revolution starts in 1789 when KL16 finally gets a clue that something is going on and sends his army into Paris to put the smack down.  The citizens think the soldiers are about to attack and get all Matrix on them and storm the battalion to set free the political prisoners…of which there were only 5; and get the gun powder which was stored there.  Then, the fishmonger women (you know, the women who work at the docks) started marching on Versailles and surrounded the Palace.  Finally, KL16 & MA surrendered under the condition that they would live under house arrest at the Louvre.

They lived at the Louvre for a few years but when they saw the guillotine had been built and folks were getting beheaded…well, they came up with an escape plan.  I think it’s now pretty obvious that KL16 is no mastermind.  MA passed out her tailored haute couture peasant clothes and they snuck out of the Louvre in the dead of night and probably would’ve made it to freedom had KL16 not refused to take a nondescript peasant carriage.  He said he’d only ride in the royal carriage.  Sigh.  That kinda defeats the purpose of discretion.  Once they convince him to take a Kia carriage, they end up being stopped by a patrolman outside the city.  KL16’s face is on all currency so it didn’t take long for the patrolman to figure out KL16 (aka “The French MacGyver”) was trying to escape.  Somehow, he just wasn’t getting the concept of subterfuge.  So, of course they get caught.  Then, they both end up getting beheaded.  KL16 first…and MA almost a year later after she had been humiliated.  Folks hated MA by this point and would just take any opportunity to ridicule her.

In the end, the whole family (except for 1 daughter) ended up dying.  It’s pretty sad.

But, the grounds are beautiful!  After riding around and looking at the gardens, we had a picnic on the grounds behind the palace.

Finally, I walked through this hall where a guy in period costume was playing chess against at least 12 people…and he beat everybody sitting there.  Most people stare at the board for a while before making a move.  This guy didn’t spend more than 30 seconds thinking of each move…would take whatever piece that was yours and move on to the next player.

Overall, Versailles is gorgeous.  The Palace itself is okay (if you are into that type of thing).  I thought the grounds, gardens and the Domaine de Marie-Antoinette were the most interesting.

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Travel Tip #1: Deciding on a Destination

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Some of us know exactly where we want to travel to while others just know they want to go someplace. So, how do you decide on a destination?

1. Figure out the type of vacation/trip you want to have (i.e. adventure, relaxation, beach, ski, etc.).
…
2. What’s your budget? This will help you to determine the length & locale. Some people think that international travel is too expensive to consider. But, smart travellers can save a lot of money by travelling during the right months (shoulder or off-peak season) & with proper planning (staying in a vacation rental instead of a hotel, buying tickets in advance, taking trains, buses & shuttles, etc). Travel Tip #2 will focus on how to travel overseas on a budget.

3. What time of year? Keep in mind that southern countries & islands have opposite seasons than the US (i.e. South America & South Africa have their summer season during our winter season). So, if you are looking for a tropical vacation during the holidays, check out the Caribbean, Mexico, South America & Africa. If you want to save money and travel off-peak to Europe (including the UK and Asia), it will be cold there (maybe even more so) than it is here and there are less hours of sunlight but you can still have the trip of a lifetime.

4. Travel as part of a tour group or on your own? 
    a. The advantages of a tour group (especially in foreign speaking countries) is that you have a set schedule with an English-speaking guide and are pretty much guaranteed to see the big tourist attractions. I strongly recommend going with a tour group (i.e. Ambassadair) for Asian countries (the language barrier is a killer) or if you want to experience the “typical” tourist adventure in any country without the pressure of planning it yourself. These “pre-packaged” tours are pretty easy to do. Just sign up and go.

    b. If you are comfortable with planning your own logistics & want to have a bit more flexibility to your trip, doing it on your own can be cheaper & more exciting. I would only recommend doing this on shoulder & off-peak seasons for major trips (i.e. visiting Italy for the first time). Peak season brings loads of tourists and you’ll end up spending a lot of your time standing in line.

5. Buy a guidebook. I never travel without one. Rick Steves is my best friend when I go to Europe. Most of his books are updated annually (however, I only replace mine every 3 years as you can go online to www.ricksteves.com and get the updates). This is great because you have the most up to date information before you travel.  Just know that Rick only covers Europe, the UK and Istanbul. For other locales, try Lonely Planet, Eyewitness Travel & Frommers. Before planning a European trip, I suggest you pick up Rick Steves “Europe Through the Back Door” as it has a lot of great travel tips (buy it on amazon.com to save $).

6. Verify that you have a valid passport. U.S. passports are valid for 10 years. I believe they cost approximately $165 (passport book & card) or $135 (passport book only) for a first time adult applicant (16+).  Renewal is approximately $140 (adult passport & card) or $110 (adult passport only). Minors are charged $115 for first time applicant.  However, check the website for the most current fee schedule.  Passports must be valid for up to 6 months after your ticketed date of return.

7. Visas. Be sure to verify if the country you plan to visit requires a visa as well as a passport.  If so, you will need to fill out the proper paperwork. I generally get my visas thru CIBT (which also processes passports as well). 

8. Vaccinations. Visit the CDC website to see what (if any) vaccinations are required. You should definitely make sure your tetanus shot is up to date and consider getting the Hep A vaccination. A lot of cities have “travel clinics” where you can make an appointment with a nurse, tell them the countries you plan to visit and they will suggest the recommended (or required) vaccinations.

9. Travel Insurance. This is a bit like gambling — you just don’t know if you will need it. I recommend it because you never know what can happen and it can give you some peace of mind. I was lucky to have travel insurance when my luggage got lost on a trip to Italy. This allowed me to be reimbursed for the clothes I had to buy while I waited for my luggage to arrive.

10. Be safe. It never hurts to check on the state of affairs in the country you plan to visit. I generally look at the travel alerts on the U.S. State Department website and ASIS International (which will give you the demographics, crime rates & incidents, political climate, & emergency contact numbers). Also, I research any local scams on Rick Steves Graffiti Wall. This has proved to be invaluable.

Travel Tip #2: Champagne Vacations on a Boones Farm Budget

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Have you been dreaming about a destination that seems out of reach financially? Where there is a will, there is a way. With smart research & proper planning, you can save a ton of money on your dream vacation. Here are few things to consider:

1. Plan ahead. Know your destination, approximate dates of travel (even if it’s just a preferred month) and your budget. This will allow you to take advantage of a great deal when the opportunity is presented.

2. Airline tickets — When should you buy airline tickets?
    a. For domestic & off-peak international travel, I recommend booking 3 months to 14 days prior. If you are flying international during peak season, you should be prepared to buy your ticket 4-9 months before your trip. I’ve noticed a trend of discounted airfares offered late summer for fall & winter travel to Europe.

    b. DO’s & DONT’s

        i. DO be flexible. You can save a couple of hundred dollars by being able to move your departure or return date by 1 or 2 days.
       ii. DON’T buy a ticket on the weekends. Ticket prices are highest during this time. 
       iii. DO buy your ticket on a Tuesday around 3pm. Pricing trends have shown that many sales are launched on Monday nights which offer discounts of 15%-25%. Competitors tend to match these offers on Tuesday morning. By 3pm, fares are as cheap as they are going to get for the week. Deals usually expire by Thursday or Friday so snap up a good deal no later than Thursday.
      iv. DON’T fly on a Monday, Friday or Sunday as these are the most expensive tickets.
       v. DO fly on Tuesday, Wednesday or Saturday to get the cheapest flight.

    c. Get the social media edge by “liking” (on Facebook) or following (on Twitter) airlines. They have started to tweet & post hour-long airfare sales which can be to your advantage.

    d. Available resources: Check out Bing Travel
        i. This site aggregates information from online travel sites (Priceline, Expedia, Travelocity, Hotwire and BookingBuddy).
       ii. It also has Price Predictor — a tool that is based on historical pricing trends. Has a green, yellow, red stoplight theme which will recommend to either buy now or wait.
      iii. It posts last minute deals. You can get a good deal with last minute deals but it’s a huge gamble. This is really for those who decide today they want to go someplace this weekend.

3. Hotel or Vacation Rental? You can generally save a ton of money by renting an apartment, flat, house of villa. Vacation Rentals typically require you book for a minimum number of nights. You can purchase food & make your own breakfast & lunch (which will save you a ton). Most usually have washers & dryers so you can do a load of laundry which will keep your luggage lighter (and guarantees no over-the-limit baggage fees). I’ve booked a flat in London for 5 people for New Years Eve and we are paying only $250 per person for 5 nights. I will cover the ins and outs of vacation rentals in Tip #5.

4. Buy train tickets in advance. You can take advantage of great deals which can save you up to 50%.

5. Dining. Eat at local Mom & Pop restaurants in non-touristy parts of the city. The food is phenomenal and 1/3 of the price you will pay for average fare next to a famous monument.

6. Tours. Check out last-minute tours on Viator. This site is great and they usually have tours that are 20% off the day before or of.

7. Consider a cruise. It’s an all-inclusive which makes it cheaper than doing a land-only vacation. Plus, it allows you to hit several locations in a short amount of time.

Bottom line…organization & planning will save you a good amount of money. Money that you can spend on your next vacation!