S1.2, TS2: Arab Adventures Pt. 1 “Sunrise Hot Air Balloon Ride” (UAE)

February 17, 2016February 17, 2016Leave a comment

Hello my lovely travelistas! Please join me for Part 1 of my 2 part “Arab Adventures” series! In this travelsode of Travel Unplugged, we are going to watch the sunrise as we soar over the desert outside Dubai in a hot air balloon!!!

I’ve had a bucket list for 6 years now and was finally able to check “riding in a hot air balloon” off! I booked the tour thru Balloon Adventures and IT. WAS. AWESOME! Seriously, this ranks up there as one of my all-time favorite activities!!! It would have been perfect if I had a glass of champagne…but I’ll do that next time (smile).

Looking for a fabulous way to start your day during a trip to Dubai? Consider doing a hot air balloon ride. You start the day SUPER EARLY. I mean, seriously…they pick you up between 3 and 4am. And you know the only folks out at the time are those making bad decisions 🙂 It’s about a 1.5 hour drive to the desert lift off location so you can take a quick nap enroute.

Once you arrive, you go thru a safety training then watch as they prep the balloon for the ride. It goes by really fast so be sure to bring your camera and GoPro to capture the memories (they also will sell you a video of your ride).

Cost is approximately $270 per person for adults. They do have discounted pricing available for kids (ages 5-12). Price includes transportation to/from your hotel (or a central meeting point), flight certificate and cold refreshments.

Grab your e-goggles and let’s go!

S1.2, TS1 Parisian Catacombs

February 10, 2016February 10, 2016Leave a comment

Hi my travelistas! On today’s travelsode of Travel Unplugged, we are going 60 feet under street level to explore Les Catacombes (the ossuary where the bones of 6 million Parisians are housed). Located at 1 avenue du Colonel Henri Rol-Tanguy in the 14th Arrondissement. They only allow 200 visitors at a time. Due to the length of the tour (up to 1 hour) and the fact that you walk down 130 steps (and up 80 steps), it’s not recommended for those with limited mobility.

The Catacombs are so freaking awesome! The bones are stacked up 5 feet high in very cool arrangement of femurs, tibias and skulls. I kept waiting for Sammy Terry to pop out and say, “Bonjour Madamoiselle, I’ve been waiting for you!” Then I’d have screamed, died on site and had my bones mixed in with the others.

As I say in the video, what I can’t get with is that the bones are mixed up all willy nilly. You know they didn’t try to figure out who is Celine and who is Francois. And it would be my luck that if I was one of the dead, my bones would be mixed up with my arch nemesis (we’ll name her Becky since it starts with a “b”) and my ex (who we will call Leroix so it sounds French). You know who ain’t trying to have their femur mixed with Becky’s tibia and Leroix’s skull? Me. I have gone to Glory and need time to rest. And I know they ain’t walking the golden streets of heaven…because if they are, then I’d need to go speak with Peter about their quality control process and review their paperwork to ensure that error is corrected and they are given tickets to go down South 🙂 Ha!

If you visit Paris, be sure to check out The Catacombs in all of its macabre splendor!

Hours:
Daily from 10am to 8pm (last admission at 7pm), except Mondays and some holidays.

More information & to Purchase Tickets:

http://www.catacombes.paris.fr/

Travel Unplugged – Season 1.2 “The Remix” Trailer

February 3, 2016February 3, 20161 Comment

Hi everybody!! It’s a new year with new goals and plenty of chances to make bad decisions! Ha! I want to welcome you to view the Travel Unplugged – Season 1.2 “The Remix” trailer. I had such big dreams and big plans last year for this travel show…but life happened and it kinda fell off the radar with my move to Paris.

So, I figured a reboot was in order and I’d relaunch the Travel Unplugged. Instead of doing Season 2 (since I only did 3 videos for season 1), I figured I’d do like most rappers/rapstresses and remix the first season. I even have a 17 week Winter Season Schedule. Now, the schedule is tentative as I may move some of the videos around depending on ~~how lazy I am~~ my mood.

This season, I will be publishing every Wednesday and will cover one of the following areas: Destinations; Expat Experience; A Day in the Life of a Parisienne and Paris Highlights. Check me out!

Tentative Winter Schedule

Season 1, Travelsode 2 (The Blue Lagoon — Iceland)

July 15, 2015July 14, 20154 Comments

The second travelsode of Travel Unplugged takes you to the beautiful Blue Lagoon! Located just outside Reykjavík, this geothermal spa (which is one of National Geographic’s “25 Wonders of the World”) is a “must see” on your travel bucket list!

Links:

More info about the Blue Lagoon (including pricing/directions) – http://www.bluelagoon.com

Products — http://www.bluelagoon.com/shop/us/

Icelandair (stop over for up to 7 nights on your way to Europe) — http://www.icelandair.us/flights/stopover/

Gate 1 Travel — http://www.gate1travel.com/scandinavia-travel/

Ice Ice Baby – Season 1, Travelsode 1 (XtraCold Ice Bar, Amsterdam)

April 29, 2015April 29, 20154 Comments

Welcome to the season premiere of Travel Unplugged!!! In today’s travelsode, we will explore Amsterdam’s XtraCold Ice Bar located at Amstel 194-196, 1017 AG Amsterdam, Netherlands.

You can purchase your tickets online at the XtraCold Ice Bar’s website, Tours & Tickets, or on Viator. Going to Amsterdam to celebrate King’s Day? Check out my blog post about Queen’s Day (as it was known before King Willem was inaugurated). It is a blast!

Thanks for watching!

The Life of Travel Be’s…

December 9, 2014December 9, 20145 Comments

Travel is like a sensuous dance choreographed to the different rhythms of life. In order to make the most of your trip, keep in mind the 10 Travel Be’s:

Riding an elephant has been on my bucket list for years! The ultimate experience is to interact with them in either Africa or India while they are in their element.

Be Inspired

Whether it be a beautiful beach photo on social media (i.e. Pinterest), a book or movie (i.e. Under the Tuscan Sun or Eat, Pray, Love), an inspirational travel quote, or a fabulous travel blog (*waves* “hi, y’all!”)…be inspired by things around you. It can be just the boost you need to encourage you to start planning your dream getaway.

Be Independent

Most people feel more comfortable traveling with at least 1 other person while others are a bit more adventurous and prefer to travel solo. Regardless of if you are with a group or on your own, be independent! This is your trip. Be selfish and make sure you see the places or do the things on your travel bucket list for that place. This doesn’t mean you stand up at breakfast and say “Alright, y’all…you are boring and I’m gonna have to jet and do my own thing because I will slit my wrists if I have to visit 1 more museum.”..then make a dramatic exit in a whirl of scarves and your phone cued up to “Flawless” by Beyoncé. I mean, you can do it but maybe save those dramatics for after dinner when there is mood lighting, k? Work out an itinerary with your travel partner(s) and figure out what the “must see/do” places & experiences are. Then figure out if you all want to do the same things. It’s okay if you don’t. Just carve out time where you part ways and have your own independent adventure to live the greatest experience you can dream of. Trust me, you don’t want to be on a plane flying home while giving your boo the side-eye because you gave up visiting the Eiffel Tower so he could walk around WWII battlegrounds.

Don't let this be you when your friend suggests a day of watching ESPN at the hotel when you're in Rome.

Don’t let this be you when your friend suggests a day of watching ESPN at the hotel when you’re in Vegas.

Be Adventurous

Explore the world…that’s what it’s there for! Being an explorer allows you to be bolder than you are at home. Immerse yourself in the culture, go whitewater rafting, go hot air ballooning over an African desert…whatever it is, make sure you take your sense of adventure and push yourself (at least a little bit) outside of your boundaries. Think of at least 1 day of your trip as an “adventure” and plan things that will allow you to have a “wow” experience.

My view from the sunrise hot air balloon ride over the desert of Dubai, UAE.

Be Innovative

I love traditional tours but always mix in something unique for each trip. While it’s a great idea to start each adventure by taking a Hop On/Hop Off bus tour to orient yourself with the city, make sure you book something fun & exciting too. It could be a spa getaway, an overnight camping trip in the desert, riding camels in the Sahara, sunrise hot air balloon ride, visiting the Harry Potter movie set…you name it. Museums are nice but make sure you give yourself time to do something that will allow you to truly experience the place you are visiting. If there is something you want to do and there is no formal organized “tour”, call up the place and ask them if you can have your own unique experience. Nine times out of 10, it will work and you will have an experience that most people will wish they had thought to do.

Research + proper planning = a fabulous trip!

Be Prepared

(Including the “baby be’s”: be safe, be knowledgeable) Research the place you are visiting. My travel boo is Rick Steves. Love him! His books are THE BEST! You need a game plan before you arrive (unless you are the type that just figures it out as you go…if that is you then know that we will never travel together because my nerves can’t take you). This will help you maximize your time, avoid tourist traps and focus on enjoying your trip. You may also want to go to the State Department’s website (www.osac.gov) and check out the country report for the place you are visiting. It gives you great info on crime and other concerns (i.e. privacy, health, etc).

Rocking the abaya in Riyadh, Kingdom of Saudi Arabia

Rocking the abaya & hijab in Riyadh, Kingdom of Saudi Arabia

Be Culturally Aware

I love being an American and am an unapologetic feminist. Even with all the struggles we have here in the U.S. when it comes to race, crime, poverty, etc…it’s one of the greatest countries on Earth. But, sometimes I don’t like some of the people that live here…case in point, the current state of affairs with black men being gunned down by police officers or vigilantes who suffer no repercussions from those illegal acts. Black lives matter. I am also very aware that I am afforded rights here that I wouldn’t be granted in some other places.

With that being said, be aware that each country has their own set of struggles & cultural sensitivities. Some are stronger than others. On a recent trip to Saudi Arabia, I made sure I wore traditional clothing [a black abaya (long cloak) and hijab (head scarf)] so that I would not run afoul of their religious laws nor make people feel uncomfortable. While it was a huge adjustment visiting a place where women don’t have as many rights as men, I tried to at least blend in physically since being submissive was a bit of a stretch for me (smile). When visiting other countries in the Middle East that don’t require the abaya, I made sure I was covered (long skirts/pants, long-sleeved blouses, etc). The last thing you need is unwanted attention or to be hassled by the religious police. Yes, it may be hot but you are a visitor in their country. And who wants visitors that don’t respect the house rules?

Be Open-Minded

The beautiful thing about this world is that it’s made up of so many different kinds of people (which is both a good thing and a bad thing). What is normal to you may seem absurd to someone else. That’s why it’s always a good idea to keep an open mind. For example, if you plan a trip to Amsterdam and know you have very strong views about drugs & sex then make sure you avoid the Red Light District. Please don’t tour the Red Light District wrapped in a cloak of judginess (is that a word? Spell-check says it isn’t but I kinda feel that it is…hmmm…too lazy to verify so I’m making an executive decision that it’s a word). Where was I? Oh, yeah, cloak of judginess…don’t walk the RLD pointing fingers at the people entering the coffeeshops or having impromptu prayer sessions for the sex workers. Know yourself and if you don’t think you can handle certain situations, avoid them. While drugs & prostitution are stigmatized and mostly illegal in the U.S., they aren’t in the Netherlands. Sex workers have unions and get benefits. Yeah, it’s weird to those of us not raised in a culture where it’s accepted as a daily part of life but I live by the motto, “if you like it, I love it.” and keep it moving.

Be Positive

This may be the hardest one for those that aren’t naturally a “glass half full” person. It takes work. My trick is to take a couple of deep breaths, fuss about it on Facebook complete with a full dramatic recap of what happened and a Meme (probably Kevin Hart). Make the “disaster” funny. Once you can laugh, you can start to get perspective. Being angry doesn’t help you fix the situation. Anger is a thief as it steals your good sense & happiness. Little issues become huge issues. Don’t be that person who has a meltdown because you ran out of gum. And, honestly, if things have gone horribly wrong…they can only get better, right?

I actually posted this to Facebook when my flight to Hong Kong was cancelled and I was told I'd have to sleep at the small regional airport I was at in Japan. Sigh...

I actually posted this to Facebook when my flight to Hong Kong was cancelled and I was told I’d have to sleep at the small regional airport I was stranded at in Japan. Luckily, I was able to sweet talk my way into a hotel about 45 minutes away.

Be Patient

Things go wrong. Flights are delayed or cancelled, that fabulous hotel that you booked actually looks like the Motel 6, or you can’t find anyone who speaks English. Trust me when I say that everything will work out. It always does. A little patience takes you a long way and can keep your dream vacation from turning into your worst nightmare. With so many travel apps and international calling plans, it’s easier than ever to get help.

Morning meditation with a yogi in Bali.

Be Kind

A smile goes a long way. It’s universal and understood in any culture. You don’t need to know the local language (but it helps if you at least learn a few key phrases like “hello”, “please” and “thank you”). I’ve had more people open up and share wonderful experiences with me just by being genuine and offering a pleasant smile. Plus, a smile makes you beautiful and who doesn’t want that?

I hope this list of Travel Be’s helps you to plan and enjoy your next fabulous vacation. Are there any Travel Be’s that I missed? Let me know!

Travelin’ Mr./Mrs. Daisy

September 24, 2012December 8, 20141 Comment

This post is intended to help you learn how to travel with your parents. Once your parents are eligible for social security, something happens. I don’t know what it is. But trust me. Here are some handy dandy tips to make your family travel experience smoother.

1. Guidebook Dilemma

Most of us use guidebooks to prepare and use for travel. It makes sense to follow the advice of someone who has been there, done that. Unless you are my Dad. I swear by Rick Steves. His guidebooks have always provided me with helpful tips. However, a map (usually hand drawn in the books) was off/unclear during our trip to Rome. Which meant that Rick can’t be trusted to tell you the time of day. Sorry, Rick. You had your chance. No second chances with Mr. Daisy. My Dad acts like he suffers from Rick Steves PTSD. When I suggest some international destination to visit, his response is, “Did Steve Bob’s recommend that?” Because he is not going to get Rick’s name right. That’s what happens when you have 2 first names & you mess up directions.

My Mom, however, has to find every book related to the country we plan to visit. I usually stick with the big 3: Rick Steves, Lonely Planet or Eyewitness Travels. She found The Cadogan Guide to Morocco by Barnaby Rogerson on Amazon. This guide has a bit more color than usual guides. For instance, Mr. Rogerson says the following about sexual attitudes in Morocco, “”Moroccans also tend to think of themselves as immeasurably more virile & potent than Western men. However chaste your intentions, why not pack some condoms beside the sun cream and romantic fiction?” Really, Barnaby? Now I have to put an “elderly lock” on my Mom’s laptop.

Do yourself a favor and just handle all the travel and prep. Monitor their internet & tv usage because this can lead to trouble. Retired people find time to explore & become scholars based on the latest gossip from “Spacebook”. My Dad has become an international travel expert based solely on 60 Minutes reports from Mike Wallace that aired 15 years ago. It doesn’t matter if you have been there and he hasn’t. You don’t know the real deal. Don’t become a victim. You will only get confused trying to wade thru their attempt at using hip jargon. My Dad can’t grasp the concept of BFFs. He keeps saying BSFF…like it’s Best Super Friends Forever. I don’t know. See how I just got sucked into that?

Only 8 kilometers? Whatchu talkin' bout, Willis? That should say 12!

The look they give you when you suggest something “exotic”.

2. You’re Taking Me Where?

Not all elderly parents (and by elderly, I mean anybody older than you) can handle “exotic” trips to Miami. I blame Mike Wallace. My Dad isn’t into traveling to Africa and Italy was full of too many basilicas. When I suggested London, I was met with “I don’t want to look at butter teeth.” I tried to explain that their dental care has improved since the 1800’s but Mike can’t verify that since he passed away. I then attempted to talk my Dad into going on a safari. His response? “I haven’t lost anything in Africa.” See a pattern? Don’t try to force it, kids. Let your parents go on a jazz cruise where they can fall asleep on the Lido Deck after slurping down a 189 ounce daiquiri while listening to the sleepy time music of Brian Culbertson.

Now, if you happen to have an adventurous parent, keep it in perspective. Your type of adventure isn’t theirs. There will be no backpacking or taking public transportation. Understand that now. You can’t make your mother walk 3 blocks after she spent 202 hours in labor with you 40 years ago. You are still paying on that. It’s like labor layaway. Ease them into the adventure. Morgan Freeman didn’t tell Miss Daisy to take MARTA. He made sure she was comfortable and that her needs were attended to.

3. Once, Twice, Three Times Too Much

Some parents like to overpack. You know how you grew up hearing, “You can’t ever be too prepared”? That is a lie. You can be too prepared. Don’t fall for that. And, the older they get, the more “prepared” they get. During one trip, the guidebook said we should plan to bring toilet tissue as some bathrooms may not have any. I bought a 24 pack of Tush Wipes and told my Mom not to worry about that. So why did she show up with 3 rolls of toilet paper? I don’t know. Apparently, 24 wipes + 3 rolls of Quilted Northern seemed like the right amount for a 12 day trip for 2 people. Don’t let your parents take a Sam’s Club approach to packing. You’ll be the one hauling it around. Remember, labor layaway. Some things you can’t get around. Do you remember Titanic when Rose came on the ship at the beginning of the movie and had 44 trunks and 132 picture frames? That is what you are battling against. Don’t let your Mom bring every item from Magellans…or your Dad bring his tool belt because you never know when something will need to be fixed. Have an intervention if you need to. Because if you don’t, Delta will.

4. Picture Time

I took a travel photography class to learn how to capture creative images that don’t look like Honey Boo Boo took them. This requires setting up your shot…which means you must have patience. Especially for someone new at it. I’ve got some news for you. Elderly parents aren’t patient. They don’t have time to wait on you to set up a shot. Take the picture as you are walking. Who cares if it is blurry. That’s your fault. Practice walking and clicking.

The deluxe “ghetto”

5. 25 Star Hotels

Elderly parents have a Kanye West mindset to travel. Which means that 5 star hotels may not be enough. Ask yourself this question…Would Oprah stay there? If you are not 100% certain, then find someplace else. Yeah, you might have to sell yourself on the streets but that’s what happens. Labor Layaway. That’s the Big Joker to any argument you may have. Parents will always win. You can’t make your Mom stay someplace that is 4 stars after you ripped her open and then refused to sleep thru the night for weeks.

For example, my Mom and I did the 5 star hotel option for our recent trip to Morocco. Which included an upgrade to a deluxe tent in the Sahara Desert. The tent had 2 twin beds (complete with mattresses on frames), bathroom (which included a shower) and sitting room. But, it is a tent…in the Sahara. My Mom was like, “What is this?” I don’t know if she thought there was a Ritz Carlton – Sahara or what. Now, in my mind, I had already prepared myself for the fact that I would encounter a bug or 2. I already had my Avon Skin So Soft and Off (courtesy of my Mom). The operators had the nerve to shut the power off at night so my Mom couldn’t keep the lights on for fear that bats would swoop in, turn into Dracula, and bite us. What would happen if we turned into vampires? We didn’t have any True Blood in our emergency preparedness kit (there wasn’t enough space with all the toilet paper). Around 1am, I awake to my Mom screaming about scorpions. She’s got her flashlight on and pointed towards her face like it’s the Moroccan Blair Witch Project. I’m trying to figure out what is going on. I mean, I know she isn’t serious. I must be dreaming this. Did my mint tea have another type of herb in it? I’m confused. At this point, she has moved into my twin bed and made the proclamation that she will NEVER sleep in that bed again because there is a scorpion the size of a “cow” in it. But, before I could find Bessie the Scorpion and lead her out of the tent, my Mom wanted me to see if her arm was swelling. Sigh. After confirming that there was no swelling, I check the bed and can’t find the Velociraptor-sized scorpion. I did see a big cockroach though. Lest you think we are going to sleep peacefully together in a small twin bed, I’ve got news for you…we are not. Labor layaway requires counseling sessions as well. And, my Mom had to question why there was no actual door on the tent. You read that right. And, I’m sure that will go into the survey feedback she is working on right now. See, as you get older, things don’t have to make sense. A tent in the Sahara to young people means just that. But to older people? It means a cottage with a fireplace, butler and an exterminator on speed dial.

I’m pretty sure it was the Scorpion King who came into the tent.

6. Hustled

Hustlers target older people because it’s easy. Older people don’t like to be hassled and would prefer to pay you 110% more than you deserve just to get you to leave them alone. Younger people? We will protest on basic principle. If the guidebook says that you should tip $2 to a porter for getting your bags out of the car, you can best believe that that is what you are going to get if there is nothing exceptional about the service. Are they pushing the luggage up a hill? Okay, they get extra. But to take my luggage that I lugged all the way thru the airport and just move it from my hand to the trunk? TWO DOLLARS, buddy. But, this philosophy can only work when you aren’t traveling with older parents. Just pay the man. I don’t care that you had to ask your guide to go to Lowes – Marrakesh to find a storm door for the tent. Make it rain.

7. Trying Something New

Not all parents will try something new. My Mom is really good about being open to certain things. But, my Dad? Forget it. Here are some examples of new things I tried to expose him to:

Me: Hi Dad, I brought you some boisenberry jam back from London! Try it.

Dad: *puts the jam on a biscuit…then spits it out* This is the nastiest stuff I’ve ever tasted in my life. Do me a favor and don’t ever bring me back anything to eat. This must be why they have yellow teeth that look like they’ve been chewing on rocks.

——————–

Me: I went to a public hammam in Morocco. It was a surreal experience. You should try it!

Dad: I don’t need my booty scrubbed.

——————-

Mom: I learned how to make chocolate molten lava cake at a Pastry & Desserts class in Paris. What do you think?

Dad: This doesn’t have anything on Chili’s chocolate lava cake. Where is the chocolate sauce? Why isn’t caramel drizzled over it? You don’t have any Breyer’s ice cream to go with this? Paris seems awful plain to me.

I’m sure that my Dad is finding a cooking class at the local Chili’s right now. That will be his Christmas gift for my mother. Bottom line, if you are traveling with elderly parents (or just folks that are older and like to go on Robin Leach-style vacations), do yourself a favor and take my advice above. Need further convincing, read my post from Las Vegas. Last tip for you? Pack a flask and your favorite spirits. You’ll need their guidance 🙂

Nikki’s Favorite Things: Dublin Edition

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I’ve been to Dublin a couple of times and always find something new to experience. I love the lush green grass, lively cafes & bars and friendly natives. I first became interested in Dublin while reading The Fever Series by Karen Marie Moning (a series of 5 books focusing on the character of Mackayla Lane, a pampered southern belle from Georgia, who goes to Dublin to find her sister’s killer). It’s based in the supernatural/urban fantasy genre and a wonderful read. What I loved about the books is that the author really took chances with the lead character and you were constantly surprised. Anyway, as I became enthralled with the series, I anticipated seeing the places she referenced. Below is a list of my favorite places, experiences & things to do in Dublin.

St. Stephens Green Park

This has to be one of the most beautiful parks I’ve ever visited. It was so peaceful and even though a lot of people were about, it was surprisingly quiet.

Grafton Street

It’s one of the two principal (pedestrian) shopping streets in Dublin city center (the other being Henry Street). With high-end shopping and entertainment, in 2008 it was named the fifth most expensive main shopping street in the world (Wikipedia). As you walk, you will see several street performers (playing blues, rock, or folk music), artists and florists. All the performers I saw were very good. Lining the streets are a variety of flower markets. I wanted to buy a bouquet and walk around with it all day because the smell and colors were wonderful!

Trinity College

Trinity College, formally known as the College of the Holy and Undivided Trinity of Queen Elizabeth near Dublin, was founded in 1592 by Queen Elizabeth I as the “mother of a university” (Wikipedia). The campus is beautiful. It was originally a Protestant college. However, Catholics started attending the school in the 1970s. Be sure to check out the Book of Kells which is a book containing the 4 Gospels in Latin. This book was written in calligraphy during the 17th century by 4 monks and richly decorated with inks from the Middle East. It was actually pretty cool to see how rich the colors still are after all these years.

Queen of Tarts

I know I talk about food a lot…especially tea and scones. Okay, seriously? The Queen of Tarts is AWESOME! They have 2 locations very close to each other (and yes, I went to both). In fact, I went there 4 TIMES in 2 DAYS! That’s right. I am not ashamed to admit it. I love scones and clotted cream. Clotted cream is like whipped creamy crack. When I got back to Atlanta, I spent days tracking down a store that imports it and bought 4 jars. Yep…it just got real, y’all.

Temple Bar district

The Temple Bar district is an arts and entertainment maze of pubs…it’s basically the party district where most of the action is (bars/pubs, outdoor performers, etc.).

To give you a little flavor of what to expect, when I was in Dublin over the summer, my colleague & I went to the Temple Bar district and happened to walk past a pub that had gotten out of control. It’s 5pm…and these folks are drunk like it’s 2am. What the hell? Faces are red, folks are drunk screaming (you know what I mean, “WOOOOO! THAT WAS F’ING AWESOME, DUDE! I’M GONNA FIGHT LIAM IF HE LOOKS MY WAY AGAIN!”). It was one of those things where you just start backing away slowly because you didn’t know what was about to happen. When a guy came out with his face covered in purple/bluish bruises, I knew it was time to go. So, we keep walking to a different pub.

A colleague that works in the Dublin office recommended we check out a pub in this area. It was even recommended by Rick Steves. Sigh. Maybe it was an off night? We go in and I noticed the crowd was mostly elderly. I mean, they were playing ABBA. Uh, are they Irish? I didn’t think so. We take a seat at the bar and order a Guinness. This pub is on the infamous “pub crawl” which is about to start in 30 minutes or so. I’m thinking that it will get better. And, it does. But for totally different reasons.

1. Blue Collar So You Think You Can Dance (aka “The BC Onesie Crew) = a group of guys come in dressed in their work clothes. These work clothes are blue jumpsuits (like adult onesies). Instead of taking the entire onesie off, they just unzip the top part and tie the arms around the waist. Clearly they have on clothes underneath (t-shirt & jeans) so I’m not sure why they continue to wear the onesie. But, they do. Maybe it doubles as their “clubbing” outfit? As they are drinking, the onesie slides down a little more…because they are getting crunk. Guinness is potent y’all. The Irish jigs start playing and it turns into a juke joint. I’m like, “the hell is this?” Next thing I know, they are doing Riverdance and trying to pick up the nearest lady that passes them. But, not to be outdone…

2. Irish Kid & Play = that’s right. However, it really was only Kid because his partner didn’t want to drop it like it’s hot. In fact, he tried to act like Kid didn’t exist at one point. Clearly, he didn’t recognize greatness! So, Kid sees the BC Onesie Crew and was like, “I see your Riverdance, and I will raise you the Michael Jackson Experience.” Then, the greatest thing happens. Kid drops his head, raises his right arm, holds his hand up and does the Janet Jackson “Rhythm Nation” countdown, does a pop n lock before hitting us with the full turn and the MJ “Black & White” video scream into the non-existent wind machine. This happened right in front of me. I think he is a warlock with tiger blood & Adonis DNA because this was made for the win. He stops, looks at the BC Onesie Crew and was like, “Checkmate, MFers”.

You know the BC Onesie Crew weren’t going out like that. It’s time to come out of the onesie now. They take a long drink of Guinness before pulling out the advanced moves. Oh yeah, it just got really real, y’all. They are battling…with Irish jigs playing on the 1s and 2s. Y’all ain’t ready for this. So, the BC Onesie Crew raise their arms, do some sort of flapping movement (kind of like Morris Day & The Time’s “The Bird”) with a 2-step salsa and look at Kid like, “take that, take that.” What? Not Diddy! They just came with something they had practiced for the past month. This was it…their Big Joker. What they didn’t know was that Kid was going to run a Boston. He was like, “That’s all you got?” Then looks at the DJ like, “Kick an old school 13th century beat, maestro!” He takes his hat off (a la MJ at the Motown 25th anniversary when he performed “Billie Jean”), does the Cabbage Patch, mixes in some country line dancing which transitioned into the moonwalk and finishes off with the robot. Kid for the win! Y’all think I’m making this up…but I’m not. That made my night. I was like, “Jiggin’ is serious in the Dubs!” Don’t get caught slippin’ y’all. You can’t get on Ireland’s Best Dance Crew doing the electric slide.

The fitzwilliam Hotel

The fitzwilliam is a 5-star luxury hotel is fabulous and located in the city center right on St. Stephens Green. It’s one of the most comfortable hotels I’ve stayed in and is within walking distance to Grafton Street, Trinity College, the Temple Bar district, Dublin Castle and the Queen of Tarts. I would definitely stay there again.

I should also let you know that it has a spa but, um…let me tell you my about my experience and you can decide if you want to do partake of their services. I should’ve known something was up when the masseuse told me that her massages were “different”. I just didn’t think anything of it. That was my first mistake. The second was telling her that I liked a “deep” touch. The massage was supposed to be a hybrid Swedish & Aromatherapy. It starts out fine. Then I noticed that it started to hurt. Apparently, she’s got a bit of muscle because she took a “deep touch” to mean that I wanted my subdermis tissue massaged as well. I deal with it thinking that all my muscles should be nice and loose. Then…it happened. I’m lying there all relaxed about to fall asleep and next thing I know, she starts beating me! With open hands! Like I stole something from her. I was like, “Hold up, Ike! What did I do to you? Why are you hitting me?” She responds that “repetitive smacking” motions help break up fatty tissue. Um, assault and battery help remove cellulite??? The hell? I thought that she would stop beating me after she finished working on my legs. I lay my head back down…still a bit rattled but determined to enjoy my massage. Next thing I know, she’s moved to my buttocks, pulled the sheet down then starts to smack my booty! I was like, “OH HECKS NAW!” This whole Chris Brown massage was not working for me. I had to let her know that she needed to focus on smooth motions and move away from my butt. That is not where I hold my stress. Stop beating me like I’m not singing “Proud Mary” right. Because believe me…this big wheel will keep on rolling. So, after we realigned expectations, the massage went better. But, my booty still stung. I felt like I was a kid again getting a whippin’ from my Dad – which always occurred for no good reason because I was an angel as a child!

Ha’Penny Bridge & the River Liffey

Just like the name sounds…there used to be a one and a half pence fee to cross over the River Liffey (which is a river that runs thru the center of town). I don’t even know how they worked that out to make change. What I loved most was this note on the pavement as you are crossing…

The Dublin Ghostbus Tour

In one word? AWESOME! It was so campy and I loved every minute of it. But, be ready to suspend belief. The bus had blackout drapes so it was pitch dark and it was decorated like a Haunted House inside! OMG, it was fabulous.

Our tour guide was Declan. He wore all black and talked very dramatic. Like our lives were on the line. You could die at any second. Fun fact…I absolute REFUSE to watch scary movies. But, stuff like this I think I can handle. As long as Sammy Terry doesn’t come out of the woodwork. Then, all bets are off. Get the Depends because my nerves can’t take it. But, I digress…Anyway, I felt like Vincent Price would be coming over the loud speakers at any moment. In fact, our bus music as we drove to different sites was “Thriller”. Michael Jackson and looking for ghosts? Winning! They also played “Ghostbusters” which was cheesy but you know I was screaming out, “WHO YOU GONNA CALL?” That’s right. Don’t act like you didn’t just say it with me. It’s mobile theater & karaoke!

We went to a cemetery that was supposedly haunted. Declan told us the story of a priest who was tortured then burned to death for refusing to convert from Catholicism to Protestant. It’s said that his ghost haunts the cemetery. He also tells us that Bram Stoker went to school in Dublin (at Trinity College) and the legend of Dracula was born here.

We pass different places with cool stories (i.e. the College of Physicians where we are told of the strange activities of Dr. Clossy, whose spirit is still seen walking the corridors carrying a bucket of human entrails — apparently, he lived at the College and used to have students steal corpses to use as cadavers for teaching them about the human body).

There are a lot of stories (it’s a 2.5 hour tour) but the one that stuck out to me was The Lady in White. Mostly because it didn’t make any logical sense and I need to understand why things happen. Declan tells us the story of a beautiful woman who married this wealthy business man. The man loved her more than the moon and the stars and the sunshine in the sky. Air wasn’t worth breathing if her sweet breath wasn’t on it. That kind of thing. He really amps it up by highlighting how much this man loves this woman…which will be important to remember later on. So, the morning after their wedding night, the husband reaches over to kiss is wife and finds her body cold. He assumes she has died and was like, “LAWD NO! NOT MY SWEET PEA! HOW AM I GONNA LIVE WITHOUT HER?”. He has a funeral and insists that his beloved (who I’m going to name Carla) be buried in her wedding dress with her trillion dollar wedding ring. Nothing is too good for his dead baby boo. But, Seamus (the guy burying Carla) was like, “oh, I’m gettin’ that ring and then I’m going down to the pub to make it rain”). After Seamus puts Carla in the crypt, he tries to take the ring off her finger but it won’t come off. So, he pulls out his pocket knife and tries to saw off her finger. That’s when Carla wakes up and is like, “Fool, what is wrong with you?!? You betta back up off me!” Seamus is like, “OH HELL NAW!” and he runs out. Comeback Carla is bewildered as to what has happened. Maybe she thought she took a long nap after all that good lovin’ her baby boo gave her on their wedding night? Who knows? Anyway, Comeback Carla leaves the crypt and heads back to her house. Now, let’s do a quick recap before I get to the end of the story. Comeback Carla & her husband Richy Rich are so in love. Carving “CC + RR 4EVA” on every tree they pass. Because their love is real. Ain’t nothing like the real thing, baby…or so Comeback Carla thought. After a night of passion, CC appears dead, RR is “devastated” as he buries his beloved boo. Are we all on the same page? Good. Now, when folks die, they are usually buried in a matter of days. So, while Declan didn’t say specifically, we’ll say a week has passed since RR thought CC died. Well, CC shows back up at the house and when her husband opens the door, she’s like, “I’m back, baby! Give me some suga!” He slams the door in her face. I’m sure she was like, “I know this fool didn’t just shut that door in my face after I’ve been buried in a crypt with this heavy-ass wedding dress on while walking 3 miles to the house after having some fool try to cut my finger off. I know that didn’t happen. RICHY! OPEN THIS MF’IN DOOR…NOW!” But, Declan said RR couldn’t accept her. WHAT? That doesn’t make any sense. Why wouldn’t he taker her back? Did he have a new boo? Was he just in shock? It was a week! What the hell happened? Did Comeback Carla turn into Bitter Betty? Was it an episode of “Snapped”? I was asking questions! He didn’t have any answers. He just said that RR never took CC back and ended up losing all his money and being buried in a pauper’s grave. What? I was like, “you need to work on this story and come up with a more plausible ending, Dec.” Seriously. I ended up Googling the story because I needed to know why RR wouldn’t take her back. Something had to have happened. There were at least 10 stories about a Lady in White in every city but Dublin. I’ll let you do draw your own conclusions.

Top 10 Things to do in Paris

November 16, 2011December 2, 20145 Comments

Each time I visit a city, I try to come up with a list of the “top things to do” by reading reviews on Trip Advisor and Rick Steves to plan an unforgettable trip. The list will contract or expand based upon the amount of time I have. I always like to mix city/historical tours with off the beaten path activities. Below is a list my top 10 things to do when visiting the lovely city of Paris.

10. Take in a Moulin Rouge cabaret show.

The Moulin Rouge cabaret was built in 1889 by Joseph Oller and is close to Montmartre (a must see during a walking tour) in the Paris district of Pigalle on Boulevard de Clichy in the 18th arrondissement (it is marked by the red windmill on its roof). “The Moulin Rouge is best known as the spiritual birthplace of the modern form of the can-can dance. Originally introduced as a seductive dance by the courtesans who operated from the site, the can-can dance revue evolved into a form of entertainment of its own and led to the introduction of cabarets across Europe.” (Wikipedia). Today the Moulin Rouge is a tourist destination, offering musical dance entertainment for visitors from around the world. Be sure to book your tickets in advance as the shows tend to sell out. I also recommend you watch the 1941 “Moulin Rouge” film starring Josephine Baker as Princess Tam-Tam before you go.

9. Shop til you drop. Paris is the place for fashion. I find myself people-watching just to figure out how I should update my wardrobe. You can either book a shopping tour (including a Discount Couture tour) or strike out on your own and visit boutiques, street markets or local department stores (Galeries Lafayette, Printemps, Bon Marche). I picked up an invaluable etiquette tip from my Rick Steve’s “Paris” guidebook:

Before you enter a Parisian store, remember the following points:

In small stores, always greet the clerk by saying “Bonjour” plus their title (Madame, Mademoiselle, or Monsieur) and say “Au revoir, Madame/Mademoiselle/Monsieur” when leaving.
The customer is not always right. In fact, figure the clerk is doing you a favor by waiting on you.
Except for in department stores, it’s not normal for the customer to handle clothing. Ask first.
Forget returns (and don’t count on exchanges).
Saturday afternoons are busiest.
Observe French shoppers. Then imitate.
Don’t feel obliged to buy. The expression for “window-shopping” in French is faire du lèche-vitrines (literally, “window-licking”).

8. Get a scoop (or more) from a Berthillion ice cream shop.

Berthillion Ice Cream shop (photo courtesy of David Monniaux)

Berthillon is a French manufacturer and retailer of luxury ice cream and sorbet. I first became addicted to their ice cream during the summer of 2010. Berthillon’s fame results, in part, from its use of natural ingredients, with no chemical preservatives or artificial sweeteners. Its ice creams are made from only milk, sugar, cream and eggs…just like homemade ice cream. Their flavors are derived from only natural sources (cocoa, vanilla bean, fruit, etc.). Fifteen flavors are produced everyday by the chefs depending of the season, the availability at the market and customer demand. In total, about sixty different flavors are produced throughout the year. Try to get there early to have a greater selection of flavors. Personally, I love the raspberry and chocolate flavors! Berthillion’s has 3 locations on Ile St. Louis (31 rue St. Louis-en-l’Ile, another across the street, and one more around the corner on rue Bellay). It’s a perfect stop after visiting the Notre-Dame!

7. Relax at a café.

There are tons of cafes in Paris and you would be remiss if you didn’t stop in one for a café au lait, croissant or crepe. I usually like to pop in during the afternoon for a light treat since most restaurants in Paris do not open for dinner until at least 7pm. Cafes are a perfect place to take a break after a busy day of sightseeing.

6. Explore the Catacombs.

The catacombs are an underground ossuary in Paris. Located south of the former city gate (the “Barrière d’Enfer” at today’s Place Denfert-Rochereau), the ossuary holds the remains of about 6 million people and fills a renovated section of caverns and tunnels that are the remains of Paris’ stone mines. Opened in the late 18th century, the underground cemetery became a tourist attraction on a small scale from the early 19th century, and has been open to the public on a regular basis from 1867. The Catacombs entry is in the western pavilion of Paris’s former Barrière d’Enfer city gate. After descending a narrow spiral stone stairwell of 19 meters to the darkness and silence broken only by the gurgling of a hidden aqueduct channelling local sources away from the area, and after passing through a long (about 1.5 km) and twisting hallway of mortared stone, visitors find themselves before a sculpture that existed from a time before this part of the mines became an ossuary, a model of France’s Port-Mahon fortress created by a former Quarry Inspector. Soon after, they would find themselves before a stone portal, the ossuary entry, with the inscription Arrête, c’est ici l’empire de la Mort (‘Stop, this is the empire of Death’).

Beyond begin the halls and caverns of walls of carefully arranged bones. Some of the arrangements are almost artistic in nature, such as a heart-shaped outline in one wall formed with skulls embedded in surrounding tibias; another is a round room whose central pillar is also a carefully created ‘keg’ bone arrangement. Along the way one would find other ‘monuments’ created in the years before catacomb renovations, such as a source-gathering fountain baptised “La Samaritaine” because of later-added engravings. There are also rusty gates blocking passages leading to other ‘unvisitable’ parts of the catacombs – many of these are either un-renovated or were too un-navigable for regular tours. (Wikipedia). I first heard about the catacombs when I did the Paris Ghost Tour in September 2011. I found out there is an entire culture down there! The “cataphiles” (people who are basically obsessed with the catacombs and very familiar with the layout) have parties, film festivals, concerts, etc. However, note that you should never try to visit the catacombs without a proper escort/guide…because you will get lost & never find your way out.

5. Cruise the Seine River.

The Seine is a 482 mile-long river and an important commercial waterway within the Paris Basin in the north of France. It rises at Saint-Seine near Dijon in northeastern France in the Langres plateau, flowing through Paris and into the English Channel at Le Havre (and Honfleur on the left bank). I suggest taking one of the excursion boats (i.e. Bateaux Mouches) that offer sightseeing tours of the Rive Droite and Rive Gauche within the city of Paris. I suggest the Champagne Tasting Seine Tour or Night Bike Tour. It’s a great way to relax and enjoy the city.

4. Take a French cooking class.

There are only so many cathedrals & museums I can visit before I’m ready to do something different. I love to cook and try out new techniques and recipes. To that end, I registered for a baking class with Cook’n with Class. We learned (through hands-on instruction) the proper techniques for making croissants, pain au chocolat, focaccia, pain au raisen, etc. It was awesome and the chefs are absolutely delightful! They offer several different classes: Baking, Classic French Desserts (crème brulee, molten chocolate cake, souflee a Grand Marnier), Macaron (3 different flavors), Morning Market (where you will go to a local market and learn how to select fresh produce & ingredients) and many others.

3. Visit the Louvre.

I highly suggest you take a couple of hours and tour the Louvre. It’s massive so you will need to strategize and prioritize what you want to see (i.e. Venus de Milo, Mona Lisa, Egyptian collection, etc.). If museums aren’t your thing, you still should walk or bike past it to see the magnificent exterior. It’s absolutely breathtaking at night!

2. Visit the Eiffel Tower.

Love, love, LOVE the Eiffel Tower. Built in 1889, it has become both a global icon of France and one of the most recognizable structures in the world. The tower is the tallest building in Paris and the most-visited paid monument in the world; millions of people ascend it every year. Named after its designer, engineer Gustave Eiffel, the tower was built as the entrance arch to the 1889 World’s Fair. Three hundred workers joined together 18,038 pieces of puddled iron (a very pure form of structural iron), using two and a half million rivets, in a structural design by Maurice Koechlin. The tower was much criticized by the public when it was built, with many calling it an eyesore. Newspapers of the day were filled with angry letters from the arts community of Paris (Wikipedia). Which I find interesting as it is now considered one of the most beautiful structures built. I love to sit and stare at it. Especially when it lights up at night. That 5 minute “sparkle” is spectacular! I highly suggest you buy your tickets online to decrease your wait in line. The Eiffel Tower’s online reservation system, which lets you skip the ticket line, is up and running (www.toureiffel.fr). At the tower, attendants scan your ticket (which you’ve printed at home or at the hotel) and put you on the first available elevator. Even with a reservation, however, you still have to wait in line with the masses to get from the second level to the summit.

1. Walking Tours. Take a bike ride thru the city.

The top thing to do in Paris? Take a walking or bike tour (or both)! It’s a great way to see the city and learn the history.

For walking tours, I suggest Sight Seekers Delight (tours of the city, Montmartre, & Jewish Tour of Marais for a cost of 35-40 euros), Discover Walks (which offer free 90 minute tours of Notre Dame, the Left Bank, Marais, and Montmartre by native Parisian guides) and the Paris Ghost Tour (a neat tour thru the Jewish Quarter focusing on the myths & legends of Parisian ghosts & hauntings…suspend belief and roll with it), and Paris Chocolate & Pastry Food Tour (which is a walking tour of Paris’ finest chocolate & pastry shops…tastings are included).
For bike tours, I suggest Fat Tire Bike Tours. I’ve taken 3 of their tours in Paris. They have offices in London, Barcelona and Berlin as well. All of their tours are phenomenal. It’s an American company and employs expats to conduct the bike tours in English. They are a fun way to see a lot of the city in a 4 hour span of time. They also do a bike tour of Versailles (which is awesome and lasts 8.5 hours).