What to Wear When Travelling Abroad

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Coco1One of the most popular questions asked when getting ready for a trip overseas is “What should I wear?”  I always suggest researching what the locals are wearing (with a few exceptions notated below).  Not solely for aesthetic reasons, but also for safety.  Most pickpockets target tourists.  Looking like you belong goes a long way.  Here are a few suggestions to help you look like a local on your travels abroad.

1.       Dress for the Country/Culture.  Each country has its own style.  Some countries are more lax (the U.S., England, Ireland, Scotland) while others take their fashion seriously (France & Italy).  With the exceptions that I have noted below, you can usually get away with a nice pair of jeans/black pants/skirt and plain shirts/sweaters.  Don’t wear anything outrageous or loud (leave the catsuit at home).

  • Middle East/Egypt/Morocco (& other Islamic countries) = First and foremost, you want to respect the culture of the country you are visiting.  Which means no Daisy Dukes while visiting the Pyramids of Giza in Cairo (and, yes, I have seen it).  Make sure you dress conservatively (covering most of your skin).  Yeah, it may be hot, but you can find breathable and dry-wick fabrics pretty easily.  Trust me; you do not want to stand out in a conservative country.  Women from western countries are viewed as being “loose”, which can invite sexual harassment from the local male population.  By keeping your goodies covered up, you take the attention off of you (and your valuables).  In Morocco, most women (and quite a few men) wear djellabas (a hooded robe).  These can be either heavy or light weight in fabric (according to season).  I didn’t wear one when I was there, but it is definitely an option which will reduce the amount of stares you get.  I tend to buy breathable tunics from Old Navy (most are 3/4 length sleeves), long flowing skirts, loose capris and convertible cargo pants.
  • France/Italy = These 2 fabulous countries are homes to the most famous fashion houses around.  This means they take their fashion seriously.  While the Italians are a bit more accepting, the French will turn their nose up if you walk past them wearing any of the items listed below in #3.
  • You can never go wrong with basic black.  It’s easy to coordinate and you can interchange with stylish accessories (like a scarf or costume jewelry).
  • The French love black, navy and brown.  I suggest using those as your base colors.  You will notice that most of the French will pair up their dark wardrobe with a colorful scarf.  Don’t have one?  Buy one when you get there…it’s a souvenir & fashion accessory all in one.
  • The Italians love color and you can get away with a lot more.  Most of all, it is attitude.
  • Quick everyday tip = Get your clothes tailored.  I noticed that many people look better in clothes that are altered to fit their shape.  I picked this tip up while visiting Paris.  Everybody there looks like a million bucks (or euros) and it really is because their clothes fit impeccably.
  • Spain = The Spanish love color & flowing maxi dresses/skirts.  I also noticed some ladies wearing cowboy boots with shorts but we will pretend like I didn’t see that because I don’t think that’s a good look personally (I like to call that seasonal dyslexia).
  • England/Ireland/Scotland/Holland/Czech Republic/Switzerland/Scandinavia = Pretty much anything goes.  I can’t say that I have seen a huge difference in what they wear vs. the U.S. (with the exception of the “don’ts” listed below).  A popular look during the summer of 2011 was shorts with tights & Chuck Taylors (*shudders*).  Don’t emulate that.  Hopefully that was a 1 season only look.LBD

2.      Dress for the Season.  Be sure to check the weather before you go.  Weather Underground is a good resource.  I have typically found that you will need to dress in layers no matter when you travel abroad.  A light jacket, colorful scarves, stylish cardigans/sweater coats are a must for spring, summer & fall.  Going in the winter?  Bring along a warm coat, some snazzy boots & a cute hat/scarf/glove combo.   I had left my puffer coat at home during a winter trip to Milan…only to realize that everybody (and I do mean everybody) was wearing one.  First and foremost, you want to be warm.  Don’t take an unlined peacoat when visiting Finland in the dead of winter.  Your health trumps fashion.  Plus, you will stand out as not knowing how to dress properly for cold weather 🙂  ExOfficio is now offering a snazzy sweater jacket that doubles as a travel pillow when folded.  This jacket is so cozy & warm!  I recently wore it during a winter trip and fell in love with it.  The jacket packs very easily, is super soft AND rain-resistant as well as keeping you warm & toasty.  This is now my go-to jacket both here and abroad!

coco3

3.       DO NOT WEAR…

  • Baseball caps!  If you want to protect your head & face from the harsh sun, opt for a stylish wide-brimmed hat (during the summer) or cloche/fedora (during the winter). Baseball caps scream tourist. Don’t bring your favorite sporting team to France unless you are actually on the team, k?
  • Baseball/Football Jerseys, High School/College T-shirts, etc.  Do I really even to explain why wearing a baseball or football jersey is a no-no? Again, you don’t want to stand out as a tourist for pickpockets. T-shirts are fine if they are plain or have a cool graphic. Bottom line, you want to look nice…not like you are getting ready to workout. If you just don’t think you can survive without wearing sporting apparel, buy a soccer/rugby jersey. You can fit in and it will be a conversation starter.
  • Fanny-packs!  Seriously…just no.  It’s not cute.  Tell your mother to leave it at home with the rest of the 80’s attire.  I don’t even know how this item became popular.  Never carry your money and valuables in a waist contraption that is easily seen.  You are begging a pickpocket to take a knife, cut the strap and steal it from you.  Use a money belt instead.  It’s similar to your beloved fanny-pack; it just goes under your shirt/waist of your pants instead so it will not be seen.  This protects your valuables from curious onlookers.
  • Expensive jewelry/bags!  A pickpocket will tackle you to steal your Rolex or Louis Vuitton.  Leave your valuables at home.
  • White sneakers???  I have actually seen quite a few locals wearing sneakers (though not usually white) around London & Paris.  My preference is to bring a pair of running shoes (as I like to workout during my trips abroad…even running races like the Paris-Versailles 10K) as well as a comfortable & stylish walking shoe (i.e. Hush Puppies, Mephisto, Clarks) that can transition into an evening shoe. I highly recommend walking shoes that have a rubber sole to minimize the impact of walking on cobblestones.  I love the Hush Puppies Sonnet flat which you can buy at Macy’s for almost half of what it retails for at other locations as well as the Makena Ballerina shoe.  Bottom line is to wear a shoe that you will be comfortable walking in for hours at a time.

Emma

4.       Must Haves.

  • Light jacket/cardigan/wrap = If you plan to wear tanks or sleeveless tops during the summer, be sure to bring something to cover your shoulders when visiting a place of worship.  You will not be allowed to enter with shoulders (and sometimes legs) exposed.  I bought Magellan’s Sun Protection Wrap for my recent trip to Morocco and fell in love.  So soft and it provides the necessary protection (both arms and head) when you enter places of worship.  I even wear it around at home.
  • Secure purse/money belt = I have been using a PacSafe purse (stylish & secure) to carry around my valuables, guidebook, umbrella & bottled water for a couple of years now and it is awesome.  Highly recommend!  The shoulder straps are reinforced with steel so it cannot be cut and the zippers lock into place.  It will take a pickpocket a few minutes to figure out how to gain access to your valuables.
  • Comfortable walking shoes = As I stated above, cobblestones can be harsh on your feet.  A stylish rubber-soled shoe will save your tootsies!
  • Dark colored pants & skirt = Use these as your base pieces.  Dark colors camouflage stains & are great to pair with funky accessories.

MM

5.     Handy resources.  Here are a few websites that focus on travel-related items:  While ExOfficio & Magellans offer stylish options, you can certainly find great travel clothing from cheaper stores (i.e. Old Navy, Target, etc.).

While these tips may not prevent you from being identified as a tourist, it will keep your bag lighter and you safer.  Hope it helps!  Safe travels.  Do you have any travel fashion tips?  If so, please comment as I’m always looking for a fresh perspective!

Also check out my posts on Nikki’s Favorite Things: Fashion Accessories and Essentials for Stress-Free Travel.

The Secret World of Pompeii

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Okay, y’all ain’t ready for this.  I wasn’t ready.  As you know, I like to give you a little flavor along with the history of the sites I visit.  Well, when our tour guide gave us the background on what life was really like in Pompeii before it was destroyed, it was like I was listening to “E True Hollywood Story: Pompeii”.  There is just so much.

First, the excavation site was visually more stunning than I expected.  Second, I was amazed that so many ancient homes were still somewhat intact.  I can’t even imagine my house being around thousands of years from now.

As we are walking, the guide tells us about the people of Pompeii.  I’m listening kind of lazily while taking pictures.  I mean, I’d just hiked up a volcano so my attention span was on a downward spiral.  Anyway, the guide says a series of things that capture and hold my interest for the rest of the day.

1.            Pompeii had an open sewer.  That’s right; Pompeii’s theme song was “Funkytown”.  I know…I couldn’t really believe it either.  I had to ask for clarification because it just seemed too nasty to be real.  Feces and urine would run down the streets and they would wait for the rain to wash it away.  Sorry for you if it happened to be a dry month.  You can see in this picture that there are huge stones that the people would use to cross the street (I like to call it “Doo Doo Crossing”) so they wouldn’t have to step in that crap (you know they only wore sandals which meant if they stepped in it, then they got the full effect).  I am sure that folks inevitably fell off the stones.  Maybe that is where the saying “Oh, sh*t!” came from?

2.            The rich folks in Pompeii were pompous.  Apparently, the good citizens of Funkytown liked to show off their wealth.  When you went over to Titus’s house, he had his treasure chest open on the front table so you could see how rich he was.  Also, they had a tiled mosaic of a big dog with “beware of dog” (in Latin) in the foyer.  So, basically, they invited you over and said, “Hey, look at all my money…but don’t try to take it because Fido will kill you.  More wine?”  This was well before the time of Occupy Pompeii Street.

  

3.            Pompeii was full of freaks.  Apparently, Pompeii was where the party was at.  They had 80 bars and 25 brothels.  With the open sewer.  I am not able to get past the open sewer so let’s just address that now.  It’s gonna come up…often.  Anyway, the freaks did come out at night and they were doing things that Rick James couldn’t even dream of.  Modern Pompeii is full of people selling erotic calendars, statues, playing cards, etc (see below).  Now, I originally thought these sexual position scenes may have been their version of “art” back then.  But, the guide pointed out that they posted these scenes in the bedrooms of the whorehouses as a “menu of services” (just like McDonald’s).  You know I was looking to see what the “goings on” were (purely for research purposes only).  You ain’t ready for that.  A menu of sexual services.  Seriously.  After getting your drank on at one of the 80 bars then crossing and falling into the open sewer, you go over to Octavia’s and ask for a #3.  Love it.

 

4.            Funk is a theme.  Now, the good people of Pompeii didn’t have bath tissue back then so they had to make do.  The lower caste folks would just wipe their booty with the left hand and eat with the right (they didn’t have forks or spoons back then which means they really needed both hands).  The rich folks would use a communal sea sponge for the family.  I’m gonna let that marinate for a minute.  Imagine you and your family all using the same sponge to wipe after doing #2.  I guess if they can deal with the open sewers, they can deal with a communal sponge.  They also used urine to bleach their clothes.  Really?  My dog would love that.

5.            They had cafes!  We found these bars with counters.  People would come in during the day and have bread and wine.  They paid their money and would sit at tables to socialize.  I never imagined an ancient civilization with marble counters!

 

It broke my heart to see the castes of the human & canine remains that were preserved from the lava and ash.  You can see the remains below of a man, dog and slave.

  

Overall, Pompeii was fascinating!  I highly recommend a visit if you ever plan to be in the Naples or Sorrento area.

        

Hiking Mt. Vesuvius

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If you have never been to Mt. Vesuvius or Pompeii, I highly suggest you go!  These 2 places are AMAZING!  Mt. Vesuvius is about 5 1/2 miles east of Naples, Italy.  My brother and I decided to take a hiking tour up Mount Vesuvius.  That sucker is brutal!  It’s a steep incline but the views are absolutely amazing.

          

It was surreal hiking to the top of a live volcano and seeing something up close that caused such mass destruction thousands of years ago.  As a refresher, Mt. Vesuvius is the volcano that destroyed the ancient city of Pompeii in 79AD.  According to the tour guide, the volcano (which has been dormant since 1944) is due to erupt again soon and will probably be as devastating as it was in 79AD.  They have tons of monitoring devices which they say can alert them 3-4 days before an eruption and they can enact the evacuation plan.  CNN was there filming a documentary about the volcano.  The further up the volcano we hiked, the darker it got as we were well into the clouds.

You can see smoke rising up from inside the crater in this picture.

Overall, it was a great experience and really helped to put some context around our subsequent visit to Pompeii.

E True Versailles Story: Royals Gone Wild

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I decided to tour Versailles.  Since I had such a great time on the Night Bike Tour in Paris, I booked the Versailles tour through Fat Tire Bike Tours as well.  The tour lasts approximately 8.5 hours so it’s a full day of riding & sightseeing.

While in Paris, we ride our bikes from the bike shop to the train station (which is about 10 minutes away), then put the bikes on the train for a 20 minute ride to Versailles.  Once we arrive, we pedal over to the farmer’s market to buy food for our picnic that afternoon.

The market is fantastic!  You can really go broke (because a tray of raspberries and other fruit cost me 17 euros) but the freshness of the food is unbelievable.  I ended up buying some fruit, tomatoes, green beans, rotisserie chicken and water.  I passed on buying a bottle of wine as I remembered the drunk pedaling from before.  So, after we load up the bikes with our purchases, we bike over to the grounds of the Palace of Versailles (or as it is called in French, Château de Versailles).

Apparently, they try to keep the château & grounds true to history so the horses and sheep are there for decoration which has to be a pretty plush job for them.  Our fabulous tour guides are Sadie and Matt.

Okay…I hope I remember all the history correctly.  If there are inaccuracies, then let me know.  Versailles used to be the hunting grounds of King Louis XIII and was made the capital of France by King Louis XIV (“KL14”) from 1682 until the French Revolution which started in 1789.  Three kings lived in Versailles (KL14 who built the Palace of Versailles, KL15 who enjoyed it, and KL16 who paid for it…with his head).

The Palace is lavish…in fact, it’s downright gaudy.  You know how some folks just don’t know that less is more?  Well, that was the Louis’.  In the end, all that flash came back to bite them in the butt.

This place has a lot of gold…like Mr. T had been their architect and interior designer.  They just covered everything with flowers and paintings.  It was like they had to have it all.  Even if it didn’t quite blend in with the décor.  They’d just see something, buy it, put it in a room and name it a certain “salon”.

Apparently, the Dauphin & Dauphine (king and queen) had their own set of suites on opposite sides of the palace.  And, considering all the mistresses that KL14 & 15 had, it’s no surprise.

The dining room was called the “Hall of Mirrors” and is 250 feet long, with 17 arched windows and 17 matching arched mirrors that look at the garden.  The literature states that it “reflects an age when beautiful people loved to look at themselves.”  I saw the portraits of a lot of folks back then and um…let’s just say that beauty is truly in the eye of the beholder.  Maybe it’s just me but I think I’ve only seen 1 portrait of someone who I thought was attractive.  Otherwise, they just all looked plain.  And, a couple of the women look like men dressed in drag.  I mean, it was a painting so they could’ve done some photoshopping and prettied them up with a few strokes of the paintbrush.  One woman was painted with a light mustache.  If that was me, the painter would’ve have been shown the door.  Make me thinner & prettier…not fatter and more masculine.

Sorry, I digressed.  Guess I got caught up in all the beauty.  Back to the dining room.  It was huge.  But KL14 (or as he named himself, the “Sun King”) felt like he needed more space to entertain.  So, he made all the people move out of the village of Trianon so he could build a SECOND DINING ROOM!  Apparently, pretty people need a lot of space to eat.  KL14 went all out.  Nothing was too good…he even had the marble brought in from Italy.  KL14 was spending the money from France’s treasury on furnishing his home like he was at the strip club making it rain.  One figure I heard was that he spent HALF of what was in the treasury.  So, he kicked the folks out the area and named the dining hall after the village in honor of them.  I’m sure they appreciated that sentiment as they were living under a bridge.

If anything, KL14 needed to be building a shower and bathtub because it is rumored that he only bathed two or three times in his life.  I was reading The Raucous Royals (because I love gossip & scandal even if it’s hundreds of years old), and it stated that “In King Louis XIV’s day, people thought a good, thick, grimy layer of filth would keep you healthy and strong.  They believed water spread diseases by penetrating the pores of the skin and then infecting the bloodstream.  Most people didn’t bathe more than once a year. The wealthy did change their linen throughout the day because they believed that the linen wicked away sweat and dirt, but they still stunk.”  And that made no logical sense.  Come on, France.  To combat the smells, the men and ladies in KL14’s court would douse themselves with perfumes and powders.  So, imagine being back in that day and having to smell Jean-Claude’s funk mixed with Cody Wild Musk for Men.  Ewwww.

To be fair, the book stated that KL14 was so clean that he was almost fussy about it. “He often bathed in a big Turkish bath.  When not in his bath, he rubbed spirits or alcohol on his skin (perfume gave him headaches), which acted as a disinfectant. And, as if that were not enough, he changed his undies three times a day!”  The book also said that KL14 towered over his subjects at an amazing 6’10”. Unfortunately, he was only 5’4” when naked.  “To compensate for his short stature, he wore a twelve-inch-high wig and six-inch red heels. But this was one look that no one could copy. King Louis XIV decreed that only the king could wear red heels.”  Only the king wears Prada, y’all.

Now, this book also said that Queen Elizabeth 1 would bleach her teeth with dog urine so keep that in mind when judging the veracity of their information.  Regardless of bathing or not, whatever he did it must have paid off because KL14 lived to the ripe old age of seventy-seven and was king for seventy-two years, longer than any other French monarch in history.

So, KL14 builds up a lavish palace and dies then KL15 assumes the throne (after a regency period since he was only 5 when his great-granddaddy went to the gilded gates).  KL15 was known as the playboy extraordinaire.  He claims to have had 5000 mistresses.  Okay, Wilt Chamberlain.  One mistress, Marie Anne de Maillynesle, put together a business plan for her future when her looks started to fade.  She figured out that KL15 liked his women more than ruling so when she felt like she was getting too old, instead of having him kick her to the curb…she became a pimp and procured women for him.  However, she wanted more power…and since he didn’t really want to govern anything outside the bedroom, he let A Pimp Named Marie Anne run the country.  She would just start wars (like the Seven Years War) so she could resolve them and have even more power.  The most famous of his mistresses are Madame du Pompadour and Madame du Barry.  Of course, with all the sleeping around he was doing, you know they all had cooties.  How are you going to be scared of water but not STDs?  Come on, France.

We then pedal over to the Hamlet of The Domaine de Marie Antoinette (aka The Hamlet).  In order to understand the significance of The Hamlet, I’ll give you a bit of background about the events leading up to the French Revolution.  As I stated above, KL14 & 15 were living the high life by spending money on buildings, wars, clothes and women.

Then, KL16 comes along.  He was set to marry Marie-Antoinette after the Seven Years War as a way to solidify peace between France & Austria.  The story goes that KL16 was a nerdy kid who, at 15 (the age he married Marie-Antoinette), preferred to collect bugs & locks than look at women.  Then, there was the supposedly beautiful Marie-Antoinette (“MA”).  Sigh.  I saw the painting.  We’ll give her a pass.  So, “beautiful” MA marries KL16 at the age of 14.  Her primary goal was to get knocked up with some heirs.  But, KL16 wanted to go out and collect fireflies and pick locks.  And, MA, having read the precursor to the book, “He’s Just Not That Into You” was upset.  Which many women can sympathize with.  It’s one thing to be rejected by a fine man.  Quite another to be rejected by the French Urkel.  MA tries to seduce KL16 to no avail.  People start looking at her all suspiciously because she hasn’t gotten knocked up yet.  So, she did what most women do when they are depressed.  No, not eat chocolate and binge drink (or maybe that’s just me).  She went shopping.  And spent MASSIVE amounts of money on all the latest fashions.  Where did that money come from?  The treasury into which folks paid their taxes.

Finally, 7 years later, MA gets pregnant.  Maybe she put on some kinky ladybug lingerie and rubbed her legs together like a spider to entice KL16.  Who knows?  She ended up having 4 kids.  After having her kids, she decided that she wanted to know what it was like to live like a peasant…so she had The Hamlet built.

This “peasant village” was basically a big dollhouse & playground.  She had sheep that she would have dyed a different color each day depending on her mood.  She then would pretend to milk a cow into a porcelain bowl.  Her peasant dresses were tailored.  You can only imagine from the pictures how much this little playground cost the taxpayers.  And, apparently, when the villagers saw her making a mockery of their lives…well, let’s just say that karma is a ______.

MA had her own place with a moat around it and required KL16 to send a written request before coming to visit.  Legend is that she had a Swedish lover that she would meet at the Temple of Love she had built for their rendezvous (which was not at all discreet…Temple of Love, Marie?  Seriously?).  With 80 acres of land, they could slip off and not be seen by anybody.

After the French monarchy were on MTV’s “Cribs”, the bourgeoisie class (which were the middle class and merchants) were like, “WTF?”  They were tired of seeing their hard-earned money go to waste.  People were starving because taxes had risen dramatically to pay for such a lavish lifestyle in Versailles.  So, they ended up signing the “Tennis Court Treaty” where they wrote a constitution and basically decided to revolt.  Which, I don’t know why KL16 didn’t see this coming.  The French had just helped out the US for the American Revolutionary War…put down the bugs, buddy.  You know the Americans were like, “Listen, Pierre, you gots to get out now.  You think I’m gonna let George tell me what to do?  I’m not calling him “king”.  Plus, I think he’s got a mental illness and I don’t have time for the drama.  Britain can kick rocks!!! U-S-A-U-S-A-U-S-A.  What?  Is he your master now?  Can he beat you up?  You need to take notes and tell Louis that France don’t have time for bug collectin’ and prancing around in stockings and high heels while folks can’t buy bread!  Revolt, man!”  While KL16 was collecting butterflies, the French were collecting guns.

So, the French Revolution starts in 1789 when KL16 finally gets a clue that something is going on and sends his army into Paris to put the smack down.  The citizens think the soldiers are about to attack and get all Matrix on them and storm the battalion to set free the political prisoners…of which there were only 5; and get the gun powder which was stored there.  Then, the fishmonger women (you know, the women who work at the docks) started marching on Versailles and surrounded the Palace.  Finally, KL16 & MA surrendered under the condition that they would live under house arrest at the Louvre.

They lived at the Louvre for a few years but when they saw the guillotine had been built and folks were getting beheaded…well, they came up with an escape plan.  I think it’s now pretty obvious that KL16 is no mastermind.  MA passed out her tailored haute couture peasant clothes and they snuck out of the Louvre in the dead of night and probably would’ve made it to freedom had KL16 not refused to take a nondescript peasant carriage.  He said he’d only ride in the royal carriage.  Sigh.  That kinda defeats the purpose of discretion.  Once they convince him to take a Kia carriage, they end up being stopped by a patrolman outside the city.  KL16’s face is on all currency so it didn’t take long for the patrolman to figure out KL16 (aka “The French MacGyver”) was trying to escape.  Somehow, he just wasn’t getting the concept of subterfuge.  So, of course they get caught.  Then, they both end up getting beheaded.  KL16 first…and MA almost a year later after she had been humiliated.  Folks hated MA by this point and would just take any opportunity to ridicule her.

In the end, the whole family (except for 1 daughter) ended up dying.  It’s pretty sad.

But, the grounds are beautiful!  After riding around and looking at the gardens, we had a picnic on the grounds behind the palace.

Finally, I walked through this hall where a guy in period costume was playing chess against at least 12 people…and he beat everybody sitting there.  Most people stare at the board for a while before making a move.  This guy didn’t spend more than 30 seconds thinking of each move…would take whatever piece that was yours and move on to the next player.

Overall, Versailles is gorgeous.  The Palace itself is okay (if you are into that type of thing).  I thought the grounds, gardens and the Domaine de Marie-Antoinette were the most interesting.

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Roaming Thru Rome

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[This is the post that started it all…my very first trip overseas!  I sent this email to friends & family in June 2007.  It still cracks me up.]

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Hello, everybody!  I have been in Rome less than 48 hours and so far, my trip has been like a Greek tragedy.

Act 1 “Getting to Rome”

I was booked on an US Air flight (from now on, I’ll be referring to them as Beelzebub Airlines, i.e. the Devil, or just B for short because it’s easier).  Anyway, I had a B flight from Atlanta to Philly with just 1 hour for a layover before my connecting flight to Rome.  Now, I knew it would be cutting it close should there be a delay but there wasn’t anything I could do.  So, the flight from Atlanta gets delayed because there was too much “air traffic” in Philly.  How long is the delay?  One hour.  Yes, I said 1 hour.  The exact time I had between connections.  So, the B pilot (I’m just gonna call him “Cooter”) tells us that B always pads the flight duration times so we will arrive at 5:15pm.  I had a 6:05pm connecting flight.  As Cooter is flying the plane he starts talking about altitude and the sunshine and other things I don’t really care about.  I care about him increasing the speed on that jet so I could catch my flight.  A 7-year-old girl looks at her watch (apparently the watch that Cooter doesn’t own) and announces that it is 5:25pm and we haven’t even begun to descend from the sky.  I ask the flight attendant about options to hold my connecting flight by a few minutes.  Of course, they can’t promise that but did say they would have an electric cart waiting to drive me over to the next concourse.

We finally land and I get off the plane around 5:45pm.  Was there an electric cart waiting?  I think you know the answer.  My Mom calls to let me know that they’ve already boarded the flight and I need to get there now because they are about to close the door.  So, I’m running like OJ thru the airport (without the knife or a Bronco) because there was no electric cart.  I get to the gate and the less-than-friendly gate agent says, “We gave your seat away.”  I responded with “Oh, so I’m flying first class now, right?”  She said, “As of right now, you don’t even have a seat on the plane.”  I just looked at her and thought to myself “Hmm, I’m gonna be on this flight if I have to sit with the pilot” and then wondered what kind of in-flight service he received because I’m sure he’s eating better than coach.  She eventually finds a seat for me and I am able to board.

Act II “Arrival to Rome”

I arrive in Rome and guess who doesn’t have their bags?  If you guessed me, then you are correct.  I don’t have one article of clothing because I packed everything except for toiletries.  I report my luggage as lost and started with my day.  Rome is BEAUTIFUL.  The experience of being here is hard to explain.  However, I will share with you a few tidbits on the craziness that’s happened to me.

Since I don’t have any clothes, I had to go shopping.  Now, something I didn’t know about Rome is that they apparently hate fat people.  And, by fat people, that would be anybody that wears a U.S. size 6 and above.  I go to a store and pull a couple of dresses off the rack to try on.  I select a medium and a large (thinking that they might run a little small).  A saleswoman (I’m calling her “Nunya” because she was all in my business without needing to be) walks up and looks over my shoulder at the sizes I picked up and says loudly (because apparently fat people are deaf too) “Jeeww need an EXTRA EXTRA LARGE”.  I looked around thinking that maybe she was talking to someone else but she was all up in my face.  So, I was like, “Um, I don’t wear that large of a size.  This will be fine.” and go about my business of browsing the new “Crack/Smack” summer collection (because wasn’t nobody gonna fit them clothes unless they hit the pipe).  So, Nunya disappears to what I thought was to mind her business.  I was wrong.  She comes out of the back room with an XXL size dress (I guess they leave the fat clothes in a special “Baby Got Back Room” or something) and then announces to the entire store “NOOO, JEEWWW NEED DIS EXTRA EXTRA LARGE.  IT STRETCHES SO IT HELPS YO HIPS!”  Um, what?  My mind is screaming, “I know she ain’t talking to me.”  I refuse to buy a size that I spent a year of hard dieting to leave behind.  I wish I would by an XXL!  I wear small and medium.  I don’t care if America is lying to me about my size.  Lie to me, America.  I don’t want to know the truth.  Clearly, I can’t handle the truth.  So, I take the Jabba-the-Hut-sized dress and decided to try it on to prove to her that it was too big.  Game on, sister!  Well, to my surprise…that sucker barely fit.  So, um…game off.  My face was TIGHT!  I was like, “oh hecks naw.”  When did I become an XXL?   Oh my God.  I’m the light-skinned Precious!  As I’m having my meltdown, Nunya says, “See, the fab-er-ic stret-chas fo jeww.”  I just had to leave the store because my nerves were shot.

As I left the store and fumed all the way up the street, I started wishing I had some gelato to ease the pain of being called fat.  Eventually, I find another store, and pick out a couple of outfits.  But since the clothes are sized different, I wasn’t sure which size was appropriate.  The sales guy (let’s call him “Antonio”) told me that I wear a 2.  I was like “Is that a fat girl size?  Because I ain’t buying a fat girl size.”  At this point, my Mom is just looking away and laughing because other people in the store are looking at me like I’m crazy.  Whatever.  I was serious.  NO FAT GIRL CLOTHES!  My experience with Nunya had scarred me and I needed someone to talk me down and it was Antonio’s job to do it.  He turned on the Italian charm and I finally found an outfit that fit then paid an astronomical amount because everything is expensive.  If any of you are looking to do an outreach ministry, consider donating to me.  Thanks!

Act III “Fat Brownie does Rome”

I thought my bags would arrive the next day…they didn’t.  Thanks, Beelzebub Airlines!  So, I had to go thru the shopping process all over again but decided to check out a different area.  During my second sojourn into the trials and tribulations of being a big girl, I noticed something else…they don’t sell underwear.  Well, they sell it sparingly and for a small fortune…like it is illegal or something.  I asked at least 3 or 4 women where I could find underwear.  At one store (I’ll call it “Skelewear” because you had to be a skeleton to fit the clothes), nobody spoke English.  I know very limited Italian and used it up ordering a sandwich (big girls gotta eat).  So, the lady says “yesa, I speaka a leetle englese.”  I ask if she knew of anyplace that sold underwear.  Her response?  “Yes.  No.  No.  Grazie” and she walks away.  Yes, no, no, grazie?  The hell?  After walking around to a few stores, I finally found a pair of underwear.  One pair costs $25 euro (since it wasn’t Spanx and that is apparently what I need to wear some clothes around here, I just passed)!  I thought about finding Fabrizio on the corner and asking him if he could get me some Hanes off the black market for $5 euro.  Somebody has to have the hook-up around here.  I tried on more clothes, of which nothing fit.  By now, my nerves are shot, I’m joining Weight Watchers online and looking for an Italian Lane Bryant.  I end up borrowing clothes from my mother and other people on the tour.  Because I’m too fat for Rome and have no luggage.  How about that?

Act IV “My Daddy”

We went to see the Trevi Fountain and there was a guy that was dressed up kind of like the Statue of Liberty — faced painted gray with a gray robe holding a torch.  I then realized it was an actual person…not a statue.  So, I say discreetly to my father, “Dad, watch your step because you are about to back up on that guy.”  He looks around and says loudly to the entire group of 37 people “HEY!!!  THAT’S AN ACTUAL GUY.  I THOUGHT IT WAS A STATUE!  BRENDA, GET ME THE CAMERA SO I CAN TAKE A PICTURE.”  All up in the man’s face.  I was like, “What didn’t you understand about me being discreet?”

All in all, Italy really has been an amazing experience — 10,000 Miles by Air, 700 Miles by Bus, and 100 Miles by Foot (well, that may be a slight exaggeration).  Seeing the ruins up close is something I really can’t describe.

Here are my favorites:

The Roman Forum — All Roads Lead to Rome

    

The Fonatana di Trevi was created by Nicola Salvi in 1762 and is Rome’s largest and most famous fountain.  You can see the central figure is Neptune and he is flanked by two Tritons (one trying to master an unruly seahorse and the other leading a quieter beast).  This is supposed to symbolize the contrasting moods of the sea.  It’s estimated that each day 22 million gallons of water flow thru the fountain.  This is the original site of the Aqua Virgo aqueduct built by Agrippa in 19 BC to channel water to Rome’s new bath complexes.  It may have been named for a girl named, Trivia, who is said to have first shown the spring to thirsty Roman soldiers.  Legend has it that if you toss a coin into the fountain, you are guaranteed to return to Rome.  I’ve been back to Rome twice since that time.

 

The Spanish Steps (aka Piazza di Spagna) is the most famous square in Rome and takes its name from the Palazzo di Spagna, built in the 17th century to house the Spanish embassy to the Holy See.

The Colosseum is known as Rome’s greatest amphitheater.  It was commissioned by Emperor Vespasian in AD 72.  In this theater, up to 55,000 spectators could watch gladiators fight each other or wild animals.  During the inaugural games in AD 80, approximately 9,000 wild animals were killed.  Slaves could gain their freedom by fighting men or wild animals to the death.  I guess you fight for freedom or die trying.

  

The Pantheon is also known as the Roman “temple of all the gods.  It’s the best preserved ancient building in Rome.  It was built (and possibly designed) by Emperor Hadrian in AD 118.  It’s interesting in that during the 7th century, permission was granted to turn the temple into a church when Christians claimed by be plagued by demons as they passed by the building.  Today, it’s lined with tombs and holds the bodies of Italian monarchs.

 

Other than the clothing situation, things have been wonderful.  The men are absolutely gorgeous and I’ve had several people say that I look like I’m 18.  Which is great since I’m just a couple of years older than that 🙂  Please pray for me that I receive my luggage soon.  Otherwise, no telling what you might see on CNN.  I might be in the studio with Sir Mix-a-lot working on the Italian version of “Baby Got Back”!  Ha!  Until then…ciao!

Smartphone Apps = Smart Travel

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Smartphone apps are a great way to plan & enhance your travel. Below is a list of my favorite iPhone apps that I use while travelling.  The best part?  Most of these apps are free unless I’ve specified a cost.

1.  Trip Planning

  • Expedia‘s Trip Assist — Great way to book or manage trips via Expedia.
  • Trip Advisor — I use Trip Advisor before booking any hotel because I find the reviews invaluable.  Plus, users can post pictures of the hotels which gives you an honest look at the property instead of the “dressed up” photos from 15 years ago.
  • Airbnb — This is the coolest app.  It’s a booking tool that features unique places to rent.  You can rent a luxury villa, an igloo or a house shaped like a boot!
  • Jetsetter —  It’s invitation-only & features flash travel sales to exotic destinations all over the world.  This app features every kind of hotel you can think of – luxury properties, trendy hang-outs, or eco-conscious resorts – for discounts as high as 50% off!  Love this app!!
  • TripIt — Great app for managing your travel itinerary.

2.  Logistics (Air, Train, etc)

  • FlyDelta
  • TripTracker — Keeps track of all your travel plans across different airlines.  Will notify you of any changes to your reservations.
  • GateGuru — Great app for identifying products & services in each terminal at the airport.
  • Rail Europe — This is a must-have app for European train travel.  You can easily check arrival/departure times and book tickets.
  • Amtrak
  • AllSubway HD — this is a WONDERFUL app!  It features maps for 128 different cities around the world (i.e. Atlanta, Amsterdam, Chicago, Sydney, London, Paris, Cairo, Buenos Aires, etc.)
  • Taxi Magic — Electronic taxi booking service.  Great for finding out what rates should be.

3.  Tours

  • Viator — I’ve been using Viator for 2 years and love it!  The app is super easy to use and great for showing you last-minute deals on tours.
  • Rick Steves‘ Audio Europe – Free audio tours you can download from iTunes.  Tour cover Paris (i.e. the Louvre), Rome, Florence, etc.  It’s a great app if you don’t want to pay for an audio guide.

4.  Food & Drinks

  • Starbucks — In case you need your caffeine fix on the go.
  • Zagat — Provides ratings and reviews for restaurants worldwide ($9.99)
  • UrbanSpoon — You can find local restaurants by shaking your device and watching nearby restaurants slide up and down your screen like a slot machine.  This app covers the U.S. Canada, UK and Australia.
  • Foodspotting — Shows nearby restaurants and allows users to recommend specific dishes.

5.  General

  • Cultures — This is a great app to educate yourself on the local customs for each country you visit.
  • Currency — I use this app ALL THE TIME!  I absolutely love it.  Enter in the amount in a particular currency and it will show you what it costs in U.S. dollars and vice versa.
  • Google Translate — Great app for simple translations.
  • Free Wi-Fi Finder

6.  Country-specific apps

  • London = London Tube Map; JourneyPro
  • Paris = ParisMetro

Here are a few resources that can help you find travel apps for your device type.

AOLs 11 Best Travel Apps

10 Must-Have Travel Apps for your iOS Phone

Forbes 10 Best Travel Apps

Best iPhone Tour Apps

Race Series: How I Survived the Paris-Versailles 16K Race!

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Running an international race was on my bucket list this year so I jumped at the chance of participating in the Paris-Versailles 16K (which is 10 miles)!  I had run a half marathon earlier this year so I thought it would be a piece of cake.  Wrong.  I was required to have my doctor sign a medical waiver (clue #1).  Since I love Paris and Versailles, I thought this would be a great idea and it would give me a chance to see some beautiful scenery.  I had read the info on the race website and a question was asked about the terrain.  The question was “I’ve never ran the Paris-Versailles, is the race difficult?”  The reply, “The race, in spite of the reputation of the “Côte des gardes”, is still easier than a half marathon. Be careful on the last climb to Viroflay (before the feeding station of km 13) who is redoubtable, as well as the slight incline of the Avenue de Paris in Versailles, which can seem endless.”  (clue #2)  That’s it.  Keep that response in mind for later, k?

I get up, head to Starbucks for yogurt and then take the train to the Eiffel Tower where the race is to start.  Um, why were there several funky folks on the train?  Dude, you haven’t even ran the race yet?  You want to be smelling like booty funk when you wake up?  Hose yourself off and get some deodorant.  The thought going thru my mind was, “what the hell is it going to smell like after the race?” 

So, we arrive at the Eiffel Tower and it is packed.  The race had sold out about a month earlier.
    

View of people walking over the Seine towards the starting line.

I met up with a couple of French colleagues in the starting area (which is packed).  Then, as we are lining up, my colleague says, “Hey, be careful out there because people have died running this race.”  Wait, WHAT?  People have died?  Why wasn’t that in the literature???  He tells me that people always overdo it because they aren’t ready for the huge hill between kilometers 6 and 8.  They don’t pace themselves appropriately.  Then, he says that he saw 2 people die a couple of years ago.  WHAT THE HELL?  WHY AM I JUST NOW HEARING ABOUT THIS MESS?  I AM NOT READY TO DIE.  I HAVEN’T SAID GOOD-BYE!  So, I did the best I could…sent a message on Facebook telling everybody that it’s been a good life & requested they keep me lifted in up prayer.  Ha!

The race has a rolling start but unlike half & full marathons, you aren’t grouped by pace.  They just let a certain amount of people start running every 2 minutes.  Finally, our group is released to start the race.  A couple of things I notice from the start.  First, there is no concept of personal space.  People just run all up on you so you are constantly covered in other people’s sweat.  It’s gross.  And you cannot avoid it.  Second, Port-O-Potties are a suggestion, not a requirement.  While they have some at the hydration stations, most people just stopped running and urinated on the side of the road.  Men AND WOMEN.  I don’t need to see Jean-Claude whip out his junk and I certainly don’t need to see Chanel pull her pants down and squat.  Really?  On the side of the road???  I can’t take it.

Once I’m over that, I’m able to continue focusing on my run.  Then, I see some guys running in chicken costumes.  In the heat…for 10 miles.  I’m sure that seemed like a neat concept in theory.  By the 3km marker, the chicken head had come off and was tossed to the side…by the 6km marker, the entire suit was tossed.

  

I’m just running along and then I come to the 6km marker and see what I’m gonna call the “Hill to Jesus”.  It went straight up.  Seriously?  What the hell?  I just started looking around for a train or bus stop because I just knew that I the hill would kill me and I would have to ask Jesus to help me out.  As I start my Jesus quest, I’m thinking that I have 20 Euro and could either find a taxi or bribe a kid to let me hop on his scooter.  The 2 km Jesus run seemed like it was 26 miles.  I honestly didn’t think I would make it.  I cursed myself out the entire time I was running (while I listened to Marvin Sapp’s “Never Would of Made it” to give me some encouragement.  Ha!).  I finally made it, gave thanks to Jesus and prayed that it was all downhill after that.  It wasn’t.  However, 11-13km was pretty good.  While I survived the hill, not everybody did.  I saw 3 people being rushed to the hospital via ambulance.  It’s weird passing ambulances that are stationed at every kilometer.  I also ran past several people at the medics tent getting oxygen and other medical care.  You know I was like, “uh…maybe I should just take a quick break and have them check my pressure?”  But, I kept it going.

Then there was another hill.  WTF?!?!?!?  I saw the medic scooter and thought, “I’m saved!”but it flew right on past to help out someone else.  They were probably faking.  I finally come to the last hydration station that has sugar cubes (that’s new for me), oranges, water and Powerade…and they are playing Michael Jackson’s “Thriller”…aw yeah!  That gets me hyped and I get a little burst of energy…

And, I finally cross the finish line 2 hours after I started the race.  One more goal achieved!!

France: Poppin’ Bottles Around the Champagne Region

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Champagne.  That one beautiful, majestic word has the ability to conjure up anticipation & delight.  I absolutely LOVE champagne.  It’s my favorite alcoholic drink.  Mimosas are proper at all hours of the day.  It’s a crime to regulate it to brunch with milk, tea and coffee.  Seriously.  I know I sound like an alcoholic but…I can stop drinking it anytime I want.  I just choose not to.  It would be unfair to the makers of this beautiful, sexy beverage.

I was blessed to visit the bubbly cities of Reims & Epernay.  I only had 1 day (Saturday) since Sunday would be spent running the Paris-Versailles 16K road race.

Renee (my travel buddy, sister & overall fabulous superstar friend) joined me for the weekend!  Our day started early as we needed to take the train from Versailles (where we were staying) so I could pick up my race packet at the Paris Sports Complex.  We then took the TGV high-speed train from Gare Paris-Est to Reims.

Reims
Beautiful, beautiful Reims (pronounced “rance”, rhymes with France…I know, you don’t see the letter “n” either.  I can’t even begin to sound this stuff out.  I was saying “reems” forever.  I can’t tell you how many times I asked the sexy train ticket agent to pronounce that for me.  Ha!).  Reims’ is the administrative capital of the Champagne region.  It’s approximately 45 minutes from Paris if you take the TGV train.  This city is where 26 French kings & queens were crowned, where champagne first bubbled (mmm, mmm…I think I need to get a flute of the bubbly to type this post up…hold on…………………………………………………………………………………[looking for champagne]……………………………………………………………………………………………………..maybe I should drink a glass before writing?  Then have another glass while I continue to write?  You know it will go flat if I leave it out so I better just finish off the bottle.  Ooh, I have mimosa sorbet that I made last night.  I should get a bowl of that too.)… Sorry, I had to think thru this dilemma.  Where was I?  Oh yes, Reims.  This is also the city where the Germans officially surrendered in 1945 bringing WWII to an end.

The great thing about visiting Reims is that most of the sights are within a 15-minute walk from the Reims-Centre train station.  Otherwise, you can take the bus or tram (which are really easy to use) to your destination.  Now, my focus was to tour the champagne caves and do tastings ALL DAY LONG!  I am so serious about this.  Did I mention that I love champagne?  It’s like the Bert to my Ernie, y’all.

Despite the fact that we started our day at 8am, we were only able to catch the 11:30am train to Reims.  We arrive during lunch when all the champagne houses have closed down from 12-2pm.  So, we take this time to walk down the main boulevard and get some lunch.

This was a steak and cheese sandwich with fries loaded on top.  Awesome!  And, I’m pretty sure it’s only 8 points on Weight Watchers but I need to verify it…once I finish my mimosa.

Unsubstantiated Fun Fact…did you know that a glass of champagne every day increases the quality of your life?  You didn’t?  Well, now you do.  Don’t bother trying to fact check me.  It’s something I know in my soul.  I don’t need the FDA or Dr. Oz telling me lies trying to keep me away from my precious.

After we finish lunch, we start walking towards our first champagne house…Taittinger.  On the way, we pass a line for people to get in this round contraption so they can spin around like a ball for 2 minutes.

During our walk, I realize I need to use the bathroom.  We come across a McDonald’s so I say that I’m going to go in there.  Now, McD’s has never let me down.  I enter and realize it’s 2 stories with the bathroom being upstairs.  But, as I get to the stairs, I notice there is a man blocking my access and he’s wearing some sort of gold shield.  Apparently, they have Ronald McDonald police.  He asked if I purchased food because the bathrooms were for patrons only.  Um, why wasn’t he looking for the Hamburglar who, last I heard, was busy stealing kids Happy Meals?  Or did they crack that 45-year old case?  Seriously. 

So, after being denied relief at McDonald’s (that sounds dramatic doesn’t it?  I wanted to throw that in just in case Tyler Perry wants to turn this into a movie.), we head to the Reims Cathedral.

It’s absolutely breathtaking!  This cathedral was built in 1211 and is a great example of Gothic architecture.  The details are similar to the cathedral I saw in Strasbourg last year.  It’s known as one of Europe’s greatest churches.  The first king of the Franks, Clovis, was baptized in this church in 496 AD.  This really helped to establish Christianity in France.  Since C-money’s baptism, Reims became the place for the coronation of French kings & queens (as mentioned above, there were 26 in total).  For this reason, it played a more important role than Paris’ Notre Dame cathedral.  Joan of Arc led Charles VII here to be crowned in 1429.  The French rallied around young Charlie 7 (or, probably as he was known to his friends…Sev’s) to push the English out of France and end the Hundred Years’ War (which was a series of wars waged from 1337 to 1453 by the House of Valois and the House of Plantagenet, also known as the House of Anjou, for the French throne, which had become vacant upon the extinction of the senior Capetian line of French kings.).  As you may remember from my London post, the House of Plantagenet loved to fight.  They were involved in the War of the Roses (fighting cousins) and this is the same house in which crazy King Henry 8 or as I like to call him, Crazy 8s) descended (the one killing all his wives).

I cover the origins of the French Revolution in my Versailles post but during the actual revolution, the French decided to convert all the cathedrals and places of worship into “temples of reason”.  They didn’t want religion to be forced on them.  After the monarchy was restored, Charles X was crowned King in 1825…this was the last coronation in France.  I guess old Double Nickels couldn’t keep it going.  The cathedral was almost destroyed by bombs during WWI and was completely rebuilt by John D. Rockefeller.  Who, interestingly, also rebuilt historical places in Athens and of course, Colonial Williamsburg.

Taittinger
After getting our church on, we power walk to Taittinger (pronounced “tay-tan-zhay”) because we are thirsty and that sweet nectar is calling.  Taittinger is one of the biggest & most renowned of Reims’ caves.  We took a tour of the cellars (which are freezing).  Now, when we arrive, we ask to sign up for an English tour and the French receptionist was like, “weez ‘r full at de momeent. You’ll have to take ze Fraaanch tour unless you wait 2 more ooww-weres.”  So, I told him we’d take 3 tickets for the French tour, then we just filed in with the rest of the folks when the English tour started.  Where there is a will, there is a way. 

The tour starts with a 10 minute promo video about the beauty of Taittinger, then we followed our guide down 80 steps to the underworld city of champagne!  The deepest of the caves were dug by ancient Romans.  They were everywhere y’all.  There are approximately 3 miles of caves and 9 million bottles of champagne located here.  During the tour, our guide explained the process of making champagne.

The history of Champagne dates to about 1700 AD and a monk cellarmaster at the Abbey of Hautvillers near the city of Reims. As the story goes, a monk named Dom Pérignon was making wine for his colleagues when, unbeknownst to him, he failed to complete the fermentation before bottling and corking the wine. During the cold winter months the fermentation remained dormant, but when spring arrived the contents of the sealed bottles began to warm and fermentation resumed producing carbon dioxide that was trapped in the bottle. Later that spring Dom noticed that bottles of wine in the cellar were exploding, so he opened one that was intact and drank, declaring “Come quickly! I’m drinking stars!” Thus, Champagne was born and named after the region where it was discovered.  Today Möet & Chandon make a Champagne named in honor of Dom Pérignon, the serendipitous inventor of Champagne. A bronze statue of the famous monk stands outside Möet & Chandon in Epernay, France.

Today, the production of Champagne is quite different from Dom Pérignon’s accidental discovery.

The key reaction of winemaking is alcoholic fermentation, the conversion of sugar into alcohol and carbon dioxide by yeast. The maximum amount of alcohol attained through alcoholic fermentation is about 15% because the yeast cells are killed by high alcohol concentration.  Most still wines (i.e., table wines) contain 12 to 14% alcohol.

The key process in producing Champagne is a SECOND fermentation that occurs in a sealed bottle. The entire process is described below.
                    
SELECTING THE CUVÉE (La Cuvée)
The cuvée is the base wine selected to make the Champagne. The most expensive Champagnes are made from cuvées from selected vineyards in the Champagne region. Cuvées can be from a pure grape variety, such as Chardonnay or Pinot Noir, or can be a mixture of several grape varieties. Chardonnay is a white grape variety with white juice, Pinot Noir a red grape variety with WHITE juice. Pinot Meunier, a relative of Pinot Noir, also is used extensively. The slight rust color imparted to some Champagne results from using Pinot Noir cuvées that acquire some red color from contact with the skins. The longer the juice remains in contact with the skins, the darker red it becomes. If a Champagne is made exclusively from Chardonnay, it is called “blanc de blanc,” white wine from white grapes. Most Champagne is made from mixed cuvees. The alcohol content of the cuvee is usually around 10%.                                            

  

THE TIRAGE
After the cuvée is selected, sugar, yeast, and yeast nutrients are added and the entire concoction, called the tirage, is put in a thick-walled glass bottle and sealed with a bottle cap.  Then, the bottle is placed in a cool cellar (55-60°F), and allowed to slowly ferment, producing alcohol and carbon dioxide. Since the bottle is sealed, the carbon dioxide cannot escape, and,thereby producing the sparkle of champagne.

AGING ON DEAD YEAST
As the fermentation proceeds, yeast cells die and after several months, the fermentation is complete. However, the Champagne continues to age in the cool cellar for several more years resulting in a toasty, yeasty characteristic.  The best and most expensive Champagne is aged for five or more years.

RIDDLING (Le Remuage)

After the aging process is complete, the dead yeast cells are removed through a process known as riddling. The champagne bottle is placed upside down in a holder at a 75° angle. Each day the riddler comes through the cellar and turns the bottle 1/8th of a turn while keeping it upside down. This procedure forces the dead yeast cells into the neck of the bottle where they are subsequently removed. A riddler typically handles 20,000 to 30,000 bottles per day.

 

DISGORGING
The Champagne bottle is kept upside down while the neck is frozen in an ice-salt bath. This procedure results in the formation of a plug of frozen wine containing the dead yeast cells. The bottle cap is then removed and the pressure of the carbon dioxide gas in the bottle forces the plug of frozen wine out leaving behind clear champagne. At this point the DOSAGE, a mixture of white wine, brandy, and sugar, is added to adjust the sweetness level of the wine and to top up the bottle.  The bottle is then corked and the cork wired down to secure the high internal pressure of the carbon dioxide.  The sweetness levels of champagne range very dry (ultra brut) to very sweet (doux), with brut being the most common.  Personally, I love demi-sec.
    
Many Champagne houses produce “luxury cuvées,” their best and most expensive wines. Dom Pérignon is the luxury cuvée of Möet & Chandon; Cristal is pride of Roederer. Bollinger produces R.D. or “recently disgorged” wines. For example, you can purchase a 1982 Bollinger R.D. that was disgorged in April 1991, nine years after being placed in the bottle. (source “Making Champagne” by Alexander J. Pandell, Ph.D.).

We had a group of senior citizens on our tour…if you read my Las Vegas post, you know how they keep it real.  At the very start of the tour, Archie starts in.

Archie:  Excuse me.  That was an excellent overview of the champagne making process.  Really, it was very, very good.  You have great oratory skills.  I just have a question…are you a member of the Taittinger family?
Francy the Guide:  Um, thank you.  No, I am not a member of ze Taittinger famileee.  I work for the family giving tours of the cellars and explaining how champagne is made.
Archie:  You aren’t a member of the family?  Well, do you want to do this forever?  What’s your 5 year plan look like?  You can do better than giving tours.
Me: Seriously?  Again?  Why, God?

You know the Oldies but Goodies Group had to worry that guide with 1000 questions and block everything.  We just gave up trying to participate and meekly just followed them at a distance.  I couldn’t do it.  In fact, I was just looking for the exit so I could start the champagne tasting.

It was magnificent to see millions of bottles fermenting.  I want a cellar in my next home.  The House of Nichole.  That’s going on my Vision Board right now.

The expensive bottles were behind locked gates.

We then get to my favorite part of the tour…drinking!  I love Taittinger.  It really is very smooth.  I’m partial to sweeter champagnes (demi-sec) than dry (brut).  But, I will drink it all 🙂

Martel

We then head over to the next champagne house…Martel.  This offers a homey contrast to Taittinger’s more “business” ambiance.  At this point, I was done with touring cellars figuring that once you’ve seen 1, you pretty much know what to expect.  I just wanted to go drinking.  Unfortunately, Martel didn’t offer tastings without the tours.  Renee and I did end up buying a couple of bottles of champagne since I love Martel too.
  
 
After we leave Martel, we head another champagne house which allowed tastings without a tour (yay!) and met some people from the U.S. who happened to be at every house we were visiting.  The husband & wife now live in Brussels due to a job transfer with FedEx and their friend was over for vacation.  I believe he bought an entire case of champagne (so of course, I realized immediately that he was cool).  At this point, Renee & I are feeling no pain.  Look how happy we are!

Champagne is the new black.  Live it, love it.  Can’t stop, won’t stop.

Epernay
 

After leaving our last champagne house in Reims, we catch a train to Epernay because I have always wanted to visit Moet & Chandon!  However, we arrive just as they are closing so no tastings. 
 

I do get a pick with Mr. Perignon though!
 

We walk up Avenue de Champagne

Past Hotel Ville (City Hall)

And see a couple more champagne houses.
 

Renee was able to buy a couple more bottles of champagne and then we had dinner before heading to the train station to catch the last train back to Paris.

While we were waiting for our train back to Paris, we met a girl named Toni.  She’s 25 and her story is so fascinating.  Toni sold her stuff and moved overseas with her passport and a backpack.  She ended up getting a job on a yacht as part of the crew and has 3 months off each year where she just travels around Europe and does some sort of work exchange…so, she basically works for a room to sleep in.  I was like, “um, how can I do that?”  Some of the jobs she has is bartending, waitressing, working in a kitchen, etc.  You work out the particulars before you actually arrive in the city.  Now that is cool!

Tip #4: Using Mobile Phones Overseas

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Most of us are tied to our mobile phones in our daily lives. So, when we travel overseas, we don’t want to be cut off from the world. However, taking your U.S. mobile phone overseas isn’t as easy (or cheap) as it sounds.

But, here are a few tips to make it easier:

1. Mobile Phones 101* = The standard mobile phone network in Europe (and most of the world) is called GSM. Within this network, different regions run on different bands. The U.S. uses 2 bands and most of Europe uses 2 different bands. A GSM U.S. phone that’s tri-band or quad-band operates on both US bands, plus one or both European bands (so it works in the U.S. and abroad). *source Rick Steves “Europe Through the Back Door”

2. If you have a tri-band or quad-band phone, you can contact your provider and ask about international data/voice plans. Most providers offer a temporary international solution. Also, check to see if you have corporate discounts. My international plan (unlimited data but roaming charges for phone calls) is less than $60/month with AT&T.

3. Global Cell Phone Rental for Verizon Customers: If you would like to take a cell phone abroad and you are a Verizon Customer, Verizon offers a rental service for global phones for travelers who will be out of the country for 21 days or less (Global Travel Program). Service costs vary.  The global value plan is put into effect when the phone is activated, and the plan is pro-rated, so the user is only charged from the day the phone is activated until the day the phone is deactivated; thus, the user may end up paying less than the $4.99 for the month of the global value plan.  It typically takes two business days to receive the phone via FedEx (signature required) delivery and users can activate the phone by calling Verizon or by going to a local Verizon store. Additionally, the Verizon customer can keep his or her current phone number.  To arrange for a phone rental, Verizon customers should call Verizon Customer Service and ask to speak to the Global Services department about Global phone rental.  If you aren’t sure whether to rent a phone or add service to your smart phone, Verizon has a pretty comprehensive page on their Global Services with a Trip Planner to help you decide on the type of service you will need based upon travel type (cruise vs. land) and country. 

4. Another great option is Cello Mobile. If your cell phone provider doesn’t offer an international plan (or the rates are too steep), this is a cheaper alternative and it has received rave reviews from users. I have identified a promo code for 10% off rental of the phone but it’s only valid if you travel for 15 or more days (promo code 1520). I’m not sure how long it’s valid for.  Quick Tip: I usually do a Google search with the “name of the company + promo code” to see if I can find any valid coupons. I have success about 80% of the time.5. If you are an iPhone user and just want to use the phone overseas for WiFi only, then you will need to disable roaming. To disable roaming on an iPhone — go into settings and select “Airport Mode”, and a small icon of an airplane will appear in the upper left corner of the screen. Consider that the iPhone also has WiFi capability, so in theory you can tap into any free WiFi source with the iPhone and surf the web. If you choose to do this, I would recommend staying at a vacation rental or hotel that offers free WiFi.

6. International Rate info by Service Provider
a. AT&T
     i. How to keep data charges predictable when traveling abroad 
     ii. World Packages   
 
b. T-Mobile
     i. International Roaming
 
7.  Rail Europe offers an “eKit” (pre-paid phone card and international phones) for purchase. They run various promotions throughout the year offering credit based upon the type of service your purchase.
 
Need travel apps for your phone?  Check out my post here for recommendations.  Any updates or feedback on using mobile phones overseas?  Please comment so I can keep the information current and correct.  Thanks!

Travel Tip #1: Deciding on a Destination

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Some of us know exactly where we want to travel to while others just know they want to go someplace. So, how do you decide on a destination?

1. Figure out the type of vacation/trip you want to have (i.e. adventure, relaxation, beach, ski, etc.).
…
2. What’s your budget? This will help you to determine the length & locale. Some people think that international travel is too expensive to consider. But, smart travellers can save a lot of money by travelling during the right months (shoulder or off-peak season) & with proper planning (staying in a vacation rental instead of a hotel, buying tickets in advance, taking trains, buses & shuttles, etc). Travel Tip #2 will focus on how to travel overseas on a budget.

3. What time of year? Keep in mind that southern countries & islands have opposite seasons than the US (i.e. South America & South Africa have their summer season during our winter season). So, if you are looking for a tropical vacation during the holidays, check out the Caribbean, Mexico, South America & Africa. If you want to save money and travel off-peak to Europe (including the UK and Asia), it will be cold there (maybe even more so) than it is here and there are less hours of sunlight but you can still have the trip of a lifetime.

4. Travel as part of a tour group or on your own? 
    a. The advantages of a tour group (especially in foreign speaking countries) is that you have a set schedule with an English-speaking guide and are pretty much guaranteed to see the big tourist attractions. I strongly recommend going with a tour group (i.e. Ambassadair) for Asian countries (the language barrier is a killer) or if you want to experience the “typical” tourist adventure in any country without the pressure of planning it yourself. These “pre-packaged” tours are pretty easy to do. Just sign up and go.

    b. If you are comfortable with planning your own logistics & want to have a bit more flexibility to your trip, doing it on your own can be cheaper & more exciting. I would only recommend doing this on shoulder & off-peak seasons for major trips (i.e. visiting Italy for the first time). Peak season brings loads of tourists and you’ll end up spending a lot of your time standing in line.

5. Buy a guidebook. I never travel without one. Rick Steves is my best friend when I go to Europe. Most of his books are updated annually (however, I only replace mine every 3 years as you can go online to www.ricksteves.com and get the updates). This is great because you have the most up to date information before you travel.  Just know that Rick only covers Europe, the UK and Istanbul. For other locales, try Lonely Planet, Eyewitness Travel & Frommers. Before planning a European trip, I suggest you pick up Rick Steves “Europe Through the Back Door” as it has a lot of great travel tips (buy it on amazon.com to save $).

6. Verify that you have a valid passport. U.S. passports are valid for 10 years. I believe they cost approximately $165 (passport book & card) or $135 (passport book only) for a first time adult applicant (16+).  Renewal is approximately $140 (adult passport & card) or $110 (adult passport only). Minors are charged $115 for first time applicant.  However, check the website for the most current fee schedule.  Passports must be valid for up to 6 months after your ticketed date of return.

7. Visas. Be sure to verify if the country you plan to visit requires a visa as well as a passport.  If so, you will need to fill out the proper paperwork. I generally get my visas thru CIBT (which also processes passports as well). 

8. Vaccinations. Visit the CDC website to see what (if any) vaccinations are required. You should definitely make sure your tetanus shot is up to date and consider getting the Hep A vaccination. A lot of cities have “travel clinics” where you can make an appointment with a nurse, tell them the countries you plan to visit and they will suggest the recommended (or required) vaccinations.

9. Travel Insurance. This is a bit like gambling — you just don’t know if you will need it. I recommend it because you never know what can happen and it can give you some peace of mind. I was lucky to have travel insurance when my luggage got lost on a trip to Italy. This allowed me to be reimbursed for the clothes I had to buy while I waited for my luggage to arrive.

10. Be safe. It never hurts to check on the state of affairs in the country you plan to visit. I generally look at the travel alerts on the U.S. State Department website and ASIS International (which will give you the demographics, crime rates & incidents, political climate, & emergency contact numbers). Also, I research any local scams on Rick Steves Graffiti Wall. This has proved to be invaluable.